


Convincing Him to Love

by TheLizardWriter



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial, Depression, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fights, Friendship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Magical Pregnancy, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Unplanned Pregnancy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10023563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLizardWriter/pseuds/TheLizardWriter
Summary: Freed has always been in love with Laxus - there is no doubt about that. However, he never thought there was an inkling of a chance that the powerful man he had fallen in love with could ever love him back. Until he woke up next to him, that is. This is the story of Freed and Laxus struggling to come to terms with their feelings for each other under circumstances they find baffling.





	1. The Morning After

The two things I first noticed when I woke up were my pounding headache, and the excess sunlight in the bedroom. It couldn’t be my bedroom, or anywhere in my house for that matter. My personal bedroom lacked a window, and my house only consisted of a bedroom, two bathrooms, a few closets, a living room, and a kitchen. None of those, of course, had a bed in them.  

I decided that I should most likely get up and find out where I ended up passing out after getting drunk the previous night, but right before I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, a slight groan from beside me penetrated my ears. I jerked my head around, instantly recognizing my surroundings, but from where I wasn’t sure. As soon as I laid eyes on the man whose mouth had gently emitted the noise, I jumped backwards off the bed in my astonishment. How I did not crumple to the floor as a side effect of my nausea is a forever unknown mystery.  

“L-Laxus…” I could barely force out the astounded words as I took in the full sight of my naked team leader. However, my words somehow kept unbeknownst to him, as he lay there snoring for a few more seconds. It was only when I tentatively reached for the blanket, to cover my own nakedness, that he shifted back into the world of the awake. 

“Nghh,” another soft groan escaped his lips as he slowly sat up, his hand already pushed against his doubtlessly aching head. “What the fuck did I end up doing last night…?” He gently mumbled to himself before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, not even bothering to cover his body. Why would he bother in the first place though? It _was_ his own house after all. He  didn’t  _ expect _ me to be standing there, half wrapped in one of his blankets and half still naked. 

“E-excuse me,” I mumbled. I hated mumbling, but  I couldn’t bring myself to suddenly speak full volume in the silence which pressed in on the early morning. I didn’t want to startle the man who was standing before me, but it turned out that there was no possible way to verbally, or physically for that matter, alert him of my presence without startling him. 

“F-Freed! What the  _ fuck _ are you doing here?!” Laxus jolted around suddenly, yelling my name in the process. I only barely held back a chuckle as I noticed a few sparks escape his body. However, my eyes weren’t kept on the sparks for long. It wasn’t really much of a secret amongst the Thunder Legion how I felt about the man in front of me, but I still was upset at myself for blushing at Laxus’s completely naked body. The blanket covering my lower half was greatly appreciated once I took in the full view in front of me.  

I was quickly able to re-gain my composure however, to reply with a solid, “I am not too sure what I am doing here myself.” I was trying my hardest to keep my words clear, precise, and in an utmost organized fashion, but I couldn’t help feeling as if I were not yet composed enough. Laxus, of all people, though wouldn’t be able to bring himself to dock me points for lack of composure - especially in a situation such as this. 

“Man Freed, can’t you act a little more surprised or,y’know, relaxed when you wake up in someone else’s bed?” Laxus chuckled, whilst reaching upwards to stabilize his head, which I assumed was still throbbing as much as mine was. It was honestly no doubt I was having trouble concentrating on my words, seeing as my head was aching worse than any normal headache. “Well, whatever. It must have been one hell of a night, am I right?” 

Laxus was the only person who could so freely joke about when we were both standing naked in his room, each on an opposite side of the bed we woke up on together. “Laxus, if you don’t mind me asking, what all happened… between us…” I was so angry at myself for losing the order of my words, but I had to keep my faith that the powerful god of our Thunder Legion would not judge me in the slightest for my disorder and disarray.  

It wasn’t even really my fault that I was disorganized. It was bound to happen after I woke up in bed with the man that I had always admired more than anyone else in the universe. To be honest, I was actually a little happy. I had always loved Laxus. It was a bit upsetting that I might have had sexual intercourse with Laxus and forgotten all about it, especially since I had never done anything of the sort with anyone in my entire life. I most likely wasted not only my first time doing that with someone, but also my first kiss and much more. 

“Hell if I know. When I get that drunk, there’s no use even trying to remember what I did for the past few hours. I know it must suck for you to have such an… awkward hole in your memory. To be honest, I’m not too happy with it myself, but what happened is done and there’s no going back. At least that’s what I tell myself every other time I get drunk and wake up with someone in my bed, you know?” I didn’t understand how Laxus could be so freely joking around about not only sleeping with me, but whoever else he had done the same thing with in the past.  What hit me the hardest, however, was the fact that Laxus could only give me the love I so much desired by getting completely wasted and losing all sense of good judgement. 

I didn’t want to sound like a crying little child throwing a fit, but it wasn’t fair. I would gladly give my life for Laxus, yet he threw off the fact that something this drastic happened. He threw it all off so easily, which hurt me much more than the ‘hole in my memory’ ever could. I wanted to get out of his house, if I were to be honest. I felt dirty, betrayed, and anything but loved. “Where are my clothes?” I was barely able to force my words out as I tried to avert my eyes from the man standing in front of me. I didn’t wish to even move while I was still holding that blanket around my naked body, but before Laxus could answer, a wave of nausea hit me like a tsunami and I weakly murmured, “Hangover,” before dashing out of the room to the bathroom, dropping the blanket as I stumbled in and slammed the door behind me.

A few minutes passed where the only noises I could hear were the soft footsteps of Laxus in the other room and the not so soft noises of me retching up all of the wretched alcohol I had consumed the previous night. However, after those few minutes, there was a soft knock at the door as the man I’d woken up next to’s knuckle’s hit it gently. 

“You alright?” Laxus’s voice rang gently and quietly - a voice I figured he used with all of those he woke up next to.  “Your clothes were a mess, so I threw them in the wash. I’m leaving some of mine on the floor out here, so you can get them when you’re feeling up to it.” I was able to at least delude myself into thinking that semi-hushed voice meant he cared. 

I managed to force out a shaky and weak, “Thanks,” before I threw up once more. As I heard his footsteps fade out of the limited range of hearing I possessed, I pulled myself off of the cramped floor and   raised my hand to the doorknob, as shaky as it may have been. I opened the door just enough to reach through the crack and grab the neatly folded clothes Laxus had left for me - that was actually something I really liked about Laxus. No matter how laid back he seemed, he kept his house in a strictly neat order. 

They were, of course, baggy on me, seeing as I was about a foot shorter than him and a lot scrawnier, but I loved the feeling of them nonetheless. Even though Laxus had me feeling like a common whore at this point, I couldn’t help but relish in the manly scent of him that wafted off his clothes. I hesitated as I opened the door further. I still felt slightly sick to my stomach, but what really bothered me was how out of place I felt in the clothes. However, not wanting to present myself as any weaker than I already had, I simply pulled the belt I was given tighter and trotted out into the living room, faking an air of confidence that was immediately shattered when I saw the man I was in love with.

“You don’t look so good,” he said as I stopped to gawk at him. “Just like you to dissolve from just a little alcohol,” he teased, despite the look of nausea that graced his face as well.

“I’ll… be fine,” I had to pause in the middle as I felt my stomach well up again, but I ended up okay. 

“Take this and sit down,” Laxus said, handing me a small circular pill. “They work  _ wonders _ for hangovers.” He turned to walk into the kitchen and I simply stood there, inwardly fawning over how I could see the movement of his muscles under his tight shirt. Not to even mention the muscles I could see elsewhere as I watched him walk away. I regretted my outburst of nausea almost immediately, wishing I had had more time to only partially avert my eyes from his naked form in the bedroom. 

“Thank you,” I replied, downing the pill with no assistance from a drink. It was a skill I had accumulated over the Thunder Legion’s various hospital visits. Instead of following his orders and sitting though, I followed him into the kitchen, if only to watch him a little more. “I’m making coffee. As far as I’m aware, it helps too.” He was speaking, but I wasn’t really listening as much as I was watching him scoop out the coffee beans and grind them. Honestly, I loved watching him do even the simplest things. 

Watching him made my mind wander to what could have happened the night before. All I could remember was the guild getting excited over some minute detail of someone’s life and Bickslow convincing me to ‘take the stick out of my ass and have a drink with him.’ I couldn’t believe that I woke up next to him. It was almost as if I had been dreaming the entire time - except if it were a dream, we would have remembered it and he would have loved me. I would know. I’d had those dreams for years. 

As I was thinking, I accidentally mumbled, “My body is sore…” without really thinking about  _ why _ it was sore. I felt my face getting hotter as I thought about just what the… well… pain in my ass, for lack of better words meant. I always knew that if I was with Laxus, I’d be the one on the bottom. I mean, he practically dominated anyone he came across in battle, so why would he be any different in the bed?

“Huh?” Laxus asked, turning around after he finished starting the coffee. I rarely accepted to repeat myself, usually only making exceptions for the Thunder Legion and, of course, my Thunder God, but this time I simply couldn’t bring myself to repeat the damning words I had spoken. 

“I didn’t say anything,” I replied, hoping to the god I worshipped that Laxus wouldn’t question me any further, which basically meant I was mentally begging Laxus to not question me. Funny how that works out.

“Freed, I heard you say something. You have to repeat for me, right?” His face contorted into one of a confident smirk, causing the scar on his face to move slightly with it.

“Laxus, please…” I looked up at the taller man and actually begged him to not make me repeat it. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if he saw the conviction in my eyes, he could give up on his curiosity. I was wrong.

“Freed,” Laxus said, slouching slightly to look me in the eyes, “Tell me.” His voice wasn’t hard, but it certainly wasn’t soft. Instead, it was firm and commanding, almost like a voice that one might use when telling their dog to perform a trick but… sexier. 

“My body is sore,” I forced my words out in a whimper, backing away slightly as I said them. I didn’t want him to hear them, but I longed to gain his approval even more.

“Sore from…” Laxus made some weird hand gesture that didn’t really look like anything, but was obviously meant to represent the actions of the previous night. It really wasn’t even a gesture, just him sort of waving his hands around near each other as his face grew red. If I weren’t so embarrassed myself, I would have thought that the pink gracing his cheeks was quite adorable.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said, chuckling slightly to ease the tension, “I guess that lessens the mystery of last night.”

I was going to laugh again when Laxus interrupted with, “Freed, look, I’m really sorry,” he looked down at his feet as he spoke, toeing some pretend object with one of them. Then, as he looked up to meet my gaze, he said, “I really hope you’re not mad.” He hesitated at the beginning, all of which was very un-Laxus like. “I’m  _ really _ sorry…”

“Laxus, it’s fine,” I replied with absolutely no hesitation. It was probably a little strange for me to act so nonchalant, but it wasn’t something I could help. I  was so desperately in love with him that waking up next to him, even with no recollection of the previous night, was a something I previously could only have dreamed of.

After that though, he went right back to his typical demeanor, even going so far as to say, “Good. Just don’t go around spreading rumors. I don’t really want the whole guild thinking I’m gay or anything like that.” 

I was at a loss for words after that one. I just sort of looked at him for a second, opened my mouth to say something, but didn’t. A few more seconds passed and I finally replied with a curt, “Okay, I will not spread any rumors about you.” 

“Thanks,” he replied, oblivious to my distaste in his reaction. He was too absorbed in pouring us some cups of coffee to really fully notice my reaction, or at least I surmised. 

“Thank you,” I replied as I took the simple white mug from his hand.

“Welcome,” he replied and we slipped into our usual routine of mutual silence and understanding. I felt like even when we didn’t talk, we both understood what the other was thinking, and that was a beautiful thing. It was probably only something perceived on my side though.

After a few minutes of standing in the kitchen sipping away at coffee, I started to get the feeling that I was forgetting something. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that I realized - the request. I quickly blurted out, “Was there not a quest we planned to go on today?” 

“Aww, shit,” Laxus replied, sighing exasperatedly, “Ever and Bix are going to be so goddamn pissy that we forgot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for giving this fic a read. Make sure to leave a comment if you like it or if you wish for me to do something differently in the future! I love reading and responding to the comments, so feel free to comment whatever you want.


	2. The Thunder Legion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this! I'm planning on updating every Sunday, but things could go faster or slower, if I am to be completely honest. If there's anything you particularly like or particularly don't like, drop a comment at the bottom and I'll see what I can do to assuage your concerns.

Chapter Two

After we realized that we had forgotten our mission, we were in a rush to get ready and get out the door. Bickslow and Evergreen were most likely waiting for us, seeing as we had agreed to meet a full half hour prior to our realization. I struggled to try and untangle my hair, which I had regretfully fallen asleep with down. It was so long that if I fell asleep without pinning it back, it became a horrid mess in the mornings. Eventually, I got it styled in basically the same fashion as I normally wore it, save for it being pinned in the back, as my tie was nowhere to be found.

  
“Freed, you’re gonna have to take your coat to the dry cleaners.” Laxus called from the other room, causing my heart to drop.

  
“How come?” I asked.

  
“Stains didn’t come out in the wash. We need to stop by your place to get you some clothes,” he said, chuckling slightly as he moved his eyes over my outfit, which made me look as if I had simply been shrunk.

  
“That’s my favorite coat,” I replied quietly, looking up at my Thunder God as I spoke.

  
“Don’t worry. Magic can pull a stain out of anything,” he replied as he turned and walked back to his room. “Your sword is in here,” he called once he walked in.

  
“Thank you,” I replied as I scurried into his room and saw my sword lain carefully across the stand of the television, still sheathed. I guess even when I was plastered drunk I couldn’t let anything happen to that beautiful piece of metal.

  
“Are you ready to go then?” He asked.

  
“Indeed. If you wish to do as such, you could go to the station before me, so we don’t arrive together. I must stop by my house to acquire new clothing,” I replied.

  
His response was just a grin, a few sparks, and, “Nah, we’ll go together.”

  
“R-Really?” I asked, temporarily crumbling away from my properness.

  
“Your house is on the way so there’s no real point in walking separately,” he explained as he draped his coat around his shoulders.

  
“Oh, yes. You’re right,” I replied, refusing to meet his eyes. “Ever will be very upset with us for being late.” We started walking the couple of streets to my house as we spoke.

  
“Damn right she will be. Bitch doesn’t know how to relax,” he replied. His words might have been harsh, but he cared about her just as much as he cared about the rest of the Thunder Legion. Just as much as he cared about me…

  
“She will no doubt have Bickslow all riled up as well,” I forced a slight smile across my face as I glanced up at the man who was walking next to me.

  
“Bickslow would have a fit trying to make jokes if he saw you coming out of my house like this,” Laxus said, staring straight ahead as he always did. He never really made the effort to look towards people while he walked next to them - instead he focused on what was ahead of him, sparing only occasional glances to the one he was speaking to.

  
“He will probably already have a lot to say about us arriving late together,” I replied, beginning to dread the meet up with our comrades. We arrived at my house at that point, however, so instead of waiting for a reply, I scampered up the stairs to the apartment building and called out, “Wait out here, I will be right out in around three minutes.” I didn’t really like it when people came in my little apartment. It only had three rooms - living room/kitchen area, bedroom, and bathroom - and I simply felt like I would only be pitied due to that fact. I simply liked compact spaces.

  
I hurried in the door, immediately walking into my bedroom and grabbing my spare coat - a shorter, black coat that was a fair bit too tight on my body - and putting it on over Laxus’s baggy shirt. I didn’t quite want to escape from my little dream world quite yet. I pulled on a pair of jeans that I had, because I felt they matched the coat better, and walked out the door in around two minutes and thirty seconds - faster than I had promised - holstering my sword on the way out.

  
“We should hurry to the station to ensure that they don’t simply leave without us,” I called out as I walked down the steps of my apartment building and saw Laxus standing there, playing with little sparks of lightning. My house was in between Laxus’s house and the train station, so we only had a couple of blocks to walk before we got there; however, it was not unprecedented for the other two to get antsy and leave without the late party.

  
It only took around four and a half minutes to get to the train station – we walked at a pace that could hardly be considered walking – and the second we arrived, we could see our two comrades impatiently conversing while they waited for us. Evergreen had her arms crossed and a scowl painted across her face and Bickslow was laughing and saying something – whether it was to Ever or to his ‘babies’ I could not tell, as we were too far away - which only seemed to annoy her further.

  
As we approached, Evergreen noticed us and said, “Damn, I thought you guys would never show up. We were about ready to leave without you,” complete with a roll of her eyes and a huff of her breath.

  
“I thought you guys were still doing it back at Laxus’s house,” Bickslow said without even turning away from his babies to look at us and then started cackling. I could feel the heat rising to my face as I really processed what he said (The fact that his ‘babies’ were repeating a few of his words was _not_ helping).

  
I was at a loss for words, but my Thunder God stepped in to save me. “What do you mean?” He asked, without the slightest hint of emotion in his voice. We _were_ supposed to be pretending that nothing happened after all.

  
“Come on, Laxus. I think everyone in the guild who wasn’t drunk out of their minds – and some of them who were – knows what happened between you two,” Bickslow said, finally turning towards us as he cackled, his tongue lolling about as usual. “Isn’t that right, babies?”

  
“You two. Babies,” Bickslow’s dolls said in response to them.

  
“W-what do you mean?” Laxus asked again, this time failing to hold his composure. I didn’t blame him. Composure was my forte, not his.

“Ahh, drunk love,” Bickslow sighed in response and then said, “Well, Freed here,” he patted my back as he spoke, “had some drinks and told you he loved you.” I took a few steps back from the situation, my face burning hot.

  
“He loves you,” the babies repeated, making it worse.

  
“Then,” Evergreen chimed in, seemingly cured of her irritation, “after you drank all of the liquor you could handle, you walked over to little Freedie and told him that if he loved you, ‘he should come back to your place so you could see just how much he loved you’.” She laughed as well. It was all a big joke to the other two of the Thunder Legion.

  
“So did you guys do it?” Bickslow asked, cackling even more as he asked his question that he already knew the answer to.

  
“Our train is here,” was Laxus’s only response. He snatched the request that Evergreen was holding out of her hands and said, “We have to…” He paused to look down at it, “’Take down some dark mages who are plaguing a town with their evil ways.”

  
“And the ride is going to take a couple of hours. You and Freed can describe your night of love to us,” Bickslow replied, changing the subject right back to what it was before.

  
"Freed! Freed!” His babies called out into the emptiness that rang out in our conversation.  
I couldn’t help but dread the upcoming train ride – Bickslow cackling; Evergreen teasing; and worst of all, Laxus pretending he had no idea who I was.


	3. The Mission

“Shut the hell up and leave me alone,” Laxus’s voice rang out against the otherwise empty train car, adding yet another attempt of his to silence our aggressors. I was sitting in the seat across from him, next to Bickslow, staring out the window as if the one next to me wasn’t making all sorts of unspeakable comments about Laxus and I’s night together. The whole ride, I had been silently begging that when Bickslow got bored with pestering the Thunder God, he’d forget about me, cowering next to the window, but it was useless to hope for that. However laid back Bickslow might be, he took his jokes and teasing rather seriously. 

I was forced to suddenly remember that fact that I had been trying to suppress in my mind when he turned towards me and said, “Well, how about you then, Freed?” His babies were still echoing his words as he said, “Wanna describe all the dirty things you and Laxus did together to us?” I instinctively readied myself to stand up and face him, but I knew that I couldn’t let him know he was bothering me. That would only fuel his fire, as he was merely seeking to get a reaction out of me. I should have been able to deal with his teasing, due to how long I had known him, but when it was about Laxus and I, there was just something that I couldn’t suppress no matter how hard I fought against myself. 

Bickslow and Ever were both cackling and giggling respectively as I contemplated my answer, even going so far as to list a complicated amount of disgustingly inappropriate suggestions, some of which I didn’t even know the meaning of. I waited for a lull in their words to inset a quiet but firm, “Honestly, I was too drunk to hold any memories of last night, so please cease this immediately.” It was embarrassing to admit, but I had decided, after deliberation, that it was better than simply ignoring them. “I’m not even positive that anything happened between the two of us,” I elaborated quickly after my first statement, wanting to alleviate the torture they were putting me through as best as I could - even if it did mean lying a small bit.

“Well Freedie,” Bickslow began, leaning over so he was too close to ignore and giving out a cackle with his tongue flopping around, “even if you aren’t sure that something happened, I am. I mean, you can’t just call telling Laxus you love him and never want to be without him nothing. In fact, you kissed him in front of the entire guild hall, so that’s even more of a something.” I heard an audible huff as Laxus got up and walked away from our seat, no doubt trying to forget that we ever were together in the first place. Surprisingly, the two who were teasing me kept their gazes focused on me, not even bothering to try and keep Laxus in place. All the better, I supposed, to not irritate the dragon within him.

“You only had a couple of drinks too,” Evergreen chimed in, leaning across the empty space between our two seats to purr her words in my face.

“I knew there was some sort of reason that you’d never go out drinking with me,” Bickslow tagged in.

“He was probably scared that he’d confess his love for you,” Evergreen giggled, holding her hand in front of her mouth. I longed to tease her about her own love interest, but I refused to stoop down as low as they were simply to get even. At least one member of the Thunder Legion had to uphold our nobility, and that was me. 

“I would appreciate it if you two ceased this immediately,” I kept my voice strong, yet my body betrayed me, as I felt my face growing warmer and warmer. 

“Aww, look, we  _ embarrassed _ him,” Evergreen called out, cooing as if it were adorable. 

“Maybe we should stop, Ever,” Bickslow said, flopping his tongue about so his guild mark was in full view, “He’d  _ appreciate _ it.”

“We should stop! We should stop!” His babies called out, floating around my head like annoying little flies.

“I am not embarrassed,” I called out, a bit too loudly, “I simply would rather not speak on this subject.” My words rang out nobly about the train car, but words were useless if you had no actions to follow them up, and by the way I could feel my body betraying me, my words meant next to nothing. I couldn’t help but think over all of the unspeakable atrocities that Bickslow and Ever had been calling out earlier, which only caused my body to betray me further. I longed for my longer red jacket, mortified that the other two would easily be able to spot my arousal growing as I remembered waking up that morning. Sure, I had seen Laxus naked before, we had all seen each other naked in bath houses, but I had never been alone with him -  just the two of us - in a private situation where we were both just so vulnerable. 

“Hey,” Bickslow’s voice floated into my daydreams, “Freed? Freeeeeeed? Are you there?” He called out, waving one of his hands in front of my face while his babies called out:

“Come back! Come back!” 

“I think you sent him into  _ shock _ ,” Evergreen giggled estatically, hardly containing herself on her last word. 

I could not contain myself when they were insinuating that I was so weak and cowardly, “I am  _ not _ in shock!” I exclaimed, “I was simply thinking.”   
“I was just thinking about Laxus and I’s dreamy night together,” Bickslow said, making his voice slightly higher and trying to speak forcefully. I simply decided to go back to pretending they didn’t exist, just like Laxus was doing about me, wherever he ran off to.

 

* * *

“Freed, c’mon. Wake up,” I fluttered my eyes open as I heard that deep and powerful voice calling out to me. Well, shouting at me was more like it. I could not recall when I fell asleep, but I figured it simply happened when I was forcing out the others’ teasing. I stretched out quickly, then stood up and tugged my coat down, making myself look decent as I walked off the train. 

I figured the job would be easy, considering the fact that Bickslow, Evergreen, and I had taken down entire dark guilds even without the assistance of our Thunder God. We walked into the town - which was a measly little town that wasn’t even home to even the smallest of guilds - to check in with the group who sent out the request, then we walked into the overgrown forest that was allowed to wildly flourish alongside the little town, and started our search for the dark mages. The man in charge of the town said that they always came sneaking out of the forest at night before they wreaked their havoc upon the town, so it was rumored that there were whole legions of them hidden out in there. There was no way they could stand up to  _ our _ legion though. 

We snuck through the forest searching for them, but instead, at our weakest moment - when Laxus finally snapped and began yelling at Ever and Bickslow - they found us. A blinding streak of light came bursting out of the darkness and took me by surprise. It wasn’t often that I was caught off guard, but I simply couldn’t help it in this situation. I felt a blinding pain in my stomach as I doubled over and nearly crumpled to the ground.

It wasn’t long before Ever turned the attacking mage to stone and came rushing over to me, but in those seconds, the pain only grew as the light engulfed me. I could hardly see straight by the time she was by my side. The light grew and grew until it simply and suddenly disappeared, leaving only the pain behind. I had no clue what type of magic could incapacitate me so quickly - I could hold my ground against Gildarts Clive for at least a few minutes. However, the last thing I saw before I completely blanked out was Bickslow and Laxus rushing up to me frantically. 

 

* * *

 

“Hey, he’s finally coming to!” A female voice, that must have been Evergreen, rang out and reverberated against the walls of whatever room I was in. 

“Freed!” A voice that undeniably belonged to Bickslow yelled from what seemed to be fairly far away. “He freaked me out for a while. I was starting to think he wouldn’t wake up,” he said, much closer that time.

“Hey, how ya feeling?” A voice which could drag me out of even the depths of hell I would follow it to asked. I forced my eyes open as soon as I heard Laxus’s voice, but it was all ruined by an overwhelming feeling of nausea.

“Sick,” I murmured out, trying to swing my legs over the edge of the hospital bed I seemed to be lying in, but my world only started to spin as a result. 

“Here’s the trash can,” a voice I didn’t immediately recognize rang out as a small metal wastebasket was handed to me. After emptying out my stomach, I glanced around the room and gave out a small gasp when I saw over twenty of my fellow guildmates crammed into the small room. Mirajane tilted her head as she asked, “Are you feeling any better?”

“I’m not feeling nauseous anymore, if that’s what you are inquiring about,” I replied formally. Although the white-haired girl was someone I considered a friend, I could not bear to look informal in front of the general population of the guild. “What are all of you doing here? You couldn’t have simply come out here just because I was injured on that job.”

“They aren’t just here because you were  _ hurt _ , Freed. You’ve been passed out for almost two weeks. Ever, Bix, and I defeated the rest of the dark mages, but they wouldn’t tell us what it was they cast on you, only that it was lost dark magic. Once you passed out, we couldn’t get you to wake up. You’ve been in the local hospital since that day. Over the past couple of weeks, almost every member of the guild has come to see you at least once,” Laxus sighed and leaned back in his seat. Upon closer inspection, I saw that there were dark bags under his eyes, along with the eyes of everyone else sitting in the hospital room with me. Bickslow was the only exception, merely because of the mask he wore, but I could have sworn I saw tracks of tears running down the visible part of his face. 

“What did the spell do to me?” I asked, nervous to find out whether or not I was dying from it.

I was met with an intense silence that was only pierced by murmurs from the other side of the room.  _ Something _ wasn’t right. It was Evergreen who finally spoke up, staring firmly at the ground as she said, “We still don’t know, and the doctors refused to run any tests that could endanger your condition any further while you were in your comatose state.”

“Well, I’m awake and stable now. We need to conduct tests immediately. There need not be any more delay. My life could be at stake,” I said, forcing myself to my feet as I spoke, barely able to suppress my need to be sick once more. Ever rushed out of the room to fetch a doctor, who began tests on me immediately - which was kind of strange considering all of my guild mates were waiting across the room with mouths agape and complete silence. I had no external bruises, no broken bones, no diseases, no temperature, and perfect blood pressure - all of which had been checked while I was in a coma, so I wasn’t sure why they needed to be checked again. However, I assumed regulation was regulation, so I simply went along with it. 

After we completed all of those regulation tests, the doctor said that he needed to take me to a separate room to perform a full body magical scan of my body. Inside said room, there was a telepathy mage waiting who would project the spell that the doctor cast onto a lacrima-vision. The doctor himself was going to cast a spell that allowed him to see inside every inch of my body and check for internal bleeding or other unseen injuries. As the doctor cast his spell, a soothing light enveloped me, but I was only allowed to be soothed for a few seconds at most, for almost immediately after the spell was cast, I heard both the doctor and the telepathy mage behind me emit a gasp. I longed to turn around and face my fate that was displayed no doubt on the screen, but my feet were cemented to the floor in fear. Funny how I could fight the most evil of wizards - and I was even capable of attacking my comrades - but something as simple as turning around was past my capabilities.

The one thing I was truly not expecting was contained in the words that were spoken next. 

“Mr. Justine, you seem to be… pregnant.”


	4. Reactions

“Excuse me, I must have misheard you,” I replied, letting myself laugh a slight bit.

" You’re pregnant is what I said,” the doctor replied, reinforcing the impossible. 

“Cease this joke immediately, and tell me what’s wrong with me!” I yelled, finally gaining the courage to spin around and look at the screen behind me. However, instead of being met with something comforting like extra bones, an internal deformity, or even missing organs, I was met with a sight that should have been impossible. In the image, there was a child, albeit very small, growing in a womb that I most certainly did not possess for the first twenty years of my life.

“Ms. Justine, I must ask you to calm down,” the doctor said, only causing me to outrage further.

“Miss?” I asked, turning to place my hands on his shoulder, “Do you not see the rest of that scan? I am not a goddamn woman.” 

“I apologize Mr. Justine, just please, calm down,” he said, pulling my arms off his shoulders.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I yelled, then much quieter I asked, “Whose baby is it?”

“I have no idea what you’re supposed to do. I guess you should travel to a more capable hospital in a larger town. We aren’t equipped to treat magical ailments such as this. You should tell your friends. In fact, if you want, I can tell them for you. As for whose baby it is, who knows. Have you had intercourse with any males in the past few weeks?”

“Laxus…” I mumbled, far too quietly for the doctor to hear. I couldn’t even begin to contemplate how Laxus would react if he was a father. I doubt he ever had dreams to be a father - especially not with someone like me. “Yes,” I spoke up, “Only  once ever, but it was the day before we left on our mission.” I almost blurted out my whole life’s story - everything about being drunk and confused - but I held it in. I was Freed Justine after all.

“Was it a male?” The doctor asked, grinning slightly as he took notes on his clipboard.

“Yes.” I needed to tell Laxus. I needed to tell everyone, to be honest, but  I didn’t want to cause any undue concern and I didn’t want to scare away my Thunder God. 

"Well, for now, we’re just going to assume he’s the father. You don’t have to tell  _ me _ who it is, but you’ll have to tell the doctor that tests for paternity, of course. You’re from Magnolia, right? There’s a good magic hospital in the next town over, so I’ll send a referral to them. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to break the news to your friends.” He started walking out of the room, but I finally composed myself enough to reach out and grab his arm.

“No, I will be the one who tells them what happened to me. Now, if you would be so kind as to give me the address of that hospital and detail my situation in the referral, that would be greatly appreciated.” I waited for him to scribble down an address on a piece of paper, snatched it, and walked out the door with my head held high and my fear festering within. The demon inside preferred it oriented that way.

It was strange, thinking that I had a living being growing inside of me. I mean, sure, there were  _ always _ living beings inside of me in the form of bacteria, but this was something growing - something that was part of me. I placed my hand against my stomach, chuckling slightly at the movement that I knew would be futile. There was no way I’d be able to feel the child after only a few weeks, but simply the notion that it was there and it was living off of  _ me _ astounded me. By the time I got to the door of the room, I was mostly calmed down, although I didn’t quite understand how.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. As soon as I set foot inside the room, I was swarmed with questions.

“Freed? What did the spell do?” I heard a voice call out frantically.

“How are you feeling?” Mirajane asked, tilting her head and giving me a broad smile.

“What did the bastards do to you?” Bickslow asked, flopping his tongue about nonetheless.

“Is there anything wrong?” Lisanna interrupted his babies to ask. It was a never ending rain of questions. 

“Greetings,” I spoke to them all formally, “Would you guys minding giving me a brief moment of privacy with my team? I simply need to give them the news first, as they are the ones closest to me.” I didn’t wish to offend any of the other members, but I couldn’t simply blurt out that I had been impregnated in front of a crowd of over fifteen people. I needed the support of my group first, then I could accept the rowdiness of the rest of the guild. Thankfully, no one protested, and instead they all started filing out the door, some of them glancing worried looks in my direction.

“Come get us when you’re ready,” Mirajane, the last one out, said to me, “Take all the time you need,” she smiled at me, embracing me temporarily as if to reassure me. I knew she was worried beneath all of her endless smiles though, which touched me deeply. The guild seemed to have fully accepted the Thunder Legion as comrades even after the events that occurred during the battle of Fairy Tail.

Once they had all exited, I turned to face the rest of my team. Ever and Bickslow were pacing about the room, and Laxus was sitting in a chair by the bed I had been sleeping in. As I opened my mouth slightly, pausing to search for the proper words, Bickslow chimed in by saying, “C’mon Freed, spit it out already. You’re freaking us out.” 

“Scary! Scary!” His babies replied, hovering over my shoulders. 

His outburst only caused me to begin feeling self-conscious about my predicament - it was basically a living reminder to the guild that I slept with Laxus. Plus, I was probably overreacting. It was better for me to be a father than dead, I supposed. I finally managed to find the right words to say, and blurted out, “The spell seems to have altered the interior make-up of my body slightly, and as a result, I have been impregnated.” 

I was met with complete silence for a few minutes until Ever said, moving around to pat my back, “Are you okay? I wasn’t even aware of magic that did that.”

“I am physically okay, but slightly mentally shaken,” I admitted, fully embracing her, as I simply felt the need for human companionship at that moment. After I released her, I let my gaze fall onto Laxus, whose face seemed to have lost all color as he simply stared straight ahead. Bickslow, on the other hand, was just staring at me, opening his mouth and shutting it as if he were silently gasping for air.

“Who --” Laxus began to ask a question, turning towards me, but he was interrupted by Bickslow.

“How…” He said, reverting to his mouth opening and closing for a second before blurting out, “How is that even going to work? Did you like…” he paused once more, “turn into a girl?” I couldn’t recall any situation prior that had Bickslow this flustered. 

“No, all of my other body parts are intact. I just seem to have grown a womb. The doctor told me that there wasn’t enough technology in this town to research the long-term effects. He is sending a referral to a hospital in one of the towns close to Magnolia though,” I explained, but it was to no avail. It didn’t seem to appease Bickslow in the slightest.

“Whose kid is it?” I heard a gruff voice ask, immediately drawing my full attention. However, I was almost hesitant to fully answer. I didn’t want to scare away my Thunder God. 

“Well,” I began, “The doctor said there was no way of knowing for sure unless the spell was known or the father was tested magically. It could be any number of people, including the caster’s, any bystander’s, or even a baby solely produced from my body and mine alone.” I dared not to mention that it was most likely to belong to the man I last had sex with. The man I first had sex with, that is. 

“There’s a chance that…” Laxus paused for a second, leaning back in his chair and covering his eyes with his hand as if his words were a burden to him, “There’s a chance that  _ I’m _ the father, right?”

“The doctor told me it was the most likely option…” I mumbled, allowing myself to speak quietly if only to hide myself from the world. I figured that the dragon would be angry, possibly even storm out of the hospital saying that he was not going to be the father of some freak like that, but instead, I could have sworn that I saw the slightest of smiles cross his face. 


	5. The Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on doing Camp NaNoWriMo in July for this fic, so if any of you want to join me, comment or shoot me a message on NaNo (My username there is just LizardWriter, with no The) and I'll make sure to add you when the time comes! Also, sorry about the formatting. I know it is messed up at points, but I do most of the posting on my phone, because my computer refuses to load this site.

“Congratulations, Freed!” Mira squealed, breaking a long, awkward silence that had been permeating the room since my announcement. Although telling the rest of the guild was a bit easier as I had already found my words and I had the Thunder Legion to assist in my explanations, it was almost mortifying to tell that many people that I had a child growing inside of my body. I had no clue how women did it so often.

“Thank you very much,” I said in reply, giving her a slight curtsy. Mira was the only of the members to speak up however, as the rest were completely taken aback by the news. Some didn’t seem to be able to tell whether they were supposed to be happy - like Mira - or feel bad that something such as a child fell upon me. 

“The doctor is referring me to a good hospital for studying the development of unknown spells on mages in the town that lies east of Magnolia, so I’ll probably be traveling there with my team later today to sort out my appointments and what we’ll do to ensure this pregnancy goes by as harmlessly as possible.” I interrupted the silence once more to explain to the other members what was going to happen to me after I left the hospital I had been residing in for the last two weeks.

“I refuse to let any of my children spend their days wasting away in just any mage’s hospital,” Makarov replied, “Porlyusica is much more capable than any medical doctor at a simple hospital.” I almost shuddered when I remembered the last time I was forced to visit the pink-haired old lady in the forest - she started yelling at me saying that the only reason I injured myself was because I was a careless human. I couldn’t imagine how much of a pleasure her views on humans would be for nine months, but I figured that my child deserved only the best care. 

I nodded and replied, “I’ll go tell the doctor to cease constructing his reference to the other hospital.” 

As I walked through the halls, I couldn’t help but contemplate how unreal everything felt. I felt as if I could have still been asleep, having the strangest dream I could ever hope to have. I longed to be divulged of the inner workings of Laxus’s mind, but he was never one to outwardly show his feelings. Most times, I was left to merely guess how he was feeling. It was only when he got especially drunk that he would let his feelings be known - and even then, only to the Thunder Legion. I couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy as I thought about how much I was in love with that blond haired man. I never truly kept that love a secret - from anyone. I would tell people I merely admired him, but anyone who even cared to take a second look at us could tell how deeply I cared for him. Anyone, it seemed, but Laxus. Laxus never really seemed to pick up on my feelings for him. I always assumed he was simply oblivious, but I couldn’t help but wonder how he hadn’t seemed to pick up on them even after our night together. 

I sorted out the matters with the doctor, who seemed disappointed that he wasn’t going to be receiving updates from the doctor he was planning on contacting. As soon as I was discharged, everyone accompanied me to the train, so that I could be escorted to Porlyushica’s hut in the woods as soon as possible. 

The train ride home was more enjoyable than the one there. Much more enjoyable. Bickslow and Ever seemed to have forgotten all about the fact that Laxus and I had slept together. The entirety of the guild that had visited me seemed to genuinely enjoy my company. I knew that I genuinely enjoyed theirs.

Upon our arrival to Magnolia, I longed to retreat to my apartment and sleep. However, the master said that he was going to inform Porlyushica of my situation and that I should follow close behind him, as she would be impatient once she knew that I was suffering from an unknown spell. 

Laxus pulled me aside as we got off the train, causing my heart to race immensely. “Freed,” it beat even faster when he whispered my name, “I’m not going to let you go see her alone. I’m coming too,” he said. I couldn’t help but mentally tack on ‘to see if it really is my problem.’ I felt like the only reason the great and powerful Laxus Dreyar would accompany a mere lap dog to a doctor’s visit was if there was something he was to gain - or lose, in this instance - from it. However, I knew he saw me as more than a simple lap dog, so it shouldn’t have been nearly as surprising as it was.

“Let us go,” I replied simply, taking a few  meaningful strides forward, causing Laxus to have to take two quicker ones to catch up. We walked in silence, both of us brooding on the immense responsibilities that would be forced down upon us by the carelessness of that ignorant dark mage. 

The more we walked, however, the slower we walked. I suppose Laxus was simply keeping pace with me, as I could not imagine him hesitating over something so silly as a pink haired old woman yelling at him. I couldn’t help but fret over the undue stress her outbursts might cause to me and my child over the next nine months. It also didn’t help that my mind was running crazy and telling me that the only reason Laxus was walking next to me was to see if this kid really would be his problem - to see if he actually had to go through the pain of raising a kid with someone as annoying as I. 

We reached the house rather quickly, even with my hesitant strides, and upon approaching the door, I immediately knocked three times, refusing to let myself weakly hesitate. My heart was allowed a slight freedom upon the opening of the door, as Master Makarov was the one who opened the door instead of the wicked old lady, but that sense of freedom was crushed as I heard, “I’m letting you people into my house and I’m doing hard work to research for you! The least you could do is not let the flies in!  **Get in or get out!** ” She yelled her last sentence, then followed it up by muttering, “This is why I hate humans.” 

I scurried in the door and Laxus lazily followed after me, seemingly not phased by the cranky old woman. We explained the situation, going into great detail of what it was like when the spell was cast and how soon I fell into my coma, and as soon as we were done, she yelled at us to scram - she didn’t want to see our incessant faces as she worked. I couldn’t even begin to contemplate how Makarov had befriended her in the first place.

“Dammit. Does she not even realize she's a human herself?” Laxus said in a huff as we walked away.

“She didn’t even tell me when to come back…” I mumbled, nervous about possibly having to show up unexpectedly at her door. 

“I say that I just take you to the mage’s hospital that that doctor wanted to refer you to,” Laxus replied, then mumbled, “You’d get better service there.”

“Laxus,” I replied, relishing the taste of his name on my lips, “Master Makarov believes that Porlyushica is the best doctor for me and the child, so I’m going to return there tomorrow, even if she kills me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Laxus replied, grinning slightly, “The old geezer is probably too senile to realize that that woman does more harm than good.” 

“I  _ am _ dreading returning to her house though,” I replied, hinting strongly that I wished I had someone to accompany me. I simply wanted Laxus to be there, even if he wasn’t the father. I didn’t think I could suffer through visits alone. 

“Are you  _ scared _ of her?” He cooed, elongating the word scared just to embarrass me further.

“I would dare not to be scared of someone like her,” I retorted, glancing up at the man next to me with a smile painted across my face. 

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll protect you from the scary old lady,” Laxus replied, patting me gently on the head. I ran a hand through my long green hair as I relished in those words.

“You’re… actually coming?” I asked quietly.

“Of course I am,” he replied.

“Just for me?” I asked quietly, immediately hoping he didn’t hear it. I couldn’t help but think back to that day, which was almost two weeks in the past, that I woke up next to Laxus in bed. 

“What kind of leader would I be if I didn’t go places for my loyal followers,” he said in reply, patting my back in a joking manner. I didn’t really know what to say in response, so I just walked along silently for a little while until Laxus said, “That kid inside of you might be mine too, so I need to be there.”

“Thank you, Laxus,” I replied, unsure whether or not I  _ wanted _ it to be Laxus’s. 

“Well, this is my street. Night,” Laxus replied, turning off to walk to his house, leaving me with nothing but a memory and a wave of his hand.

“Goodnight Laxus,” I called out, then continued walking back to my apartment - exhausted from the long day of surprises. 


	6. Mothers and Fathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, this time I am actually going to be better about updating. Trust me on this one. But if I do fall behind, my email is in my bio, so shoot me an email there and tell me to hurry the fuck up.

I woke up in the morning feeling refreshed and prepared for the day. I dressed in one of my other spare coats - this one a tan color - and set out for the guild immediately. I sat down at the bar, where Bickslow and Evergreen were already sitting and talking. It was almost the same as any other day save for one detail - everyone in the guild had a word for me. Whether it be a congratulatory statement or a simple welcome back, I was given. the gift of a greeting from every single member of Fairy Tail with whom I crossed paths. It was actually sort of nice to be the center of attention for once.

It had been about an hour of sitting around talking to the other members of my team - and the occasional Fairy Tail member who wanted to talk - before Makarov approached me to explain that Porlyushica did indeed expect me to return by three o’clock that day. Apparently, after she chased us out, she demanded that he bring us back by that time.   
  
After Laxus’s promise from the day before, I was determined to wait for him - even if it meant making the old lady angry. However, by the time that dedication was growing towards a reality, he still hadn’t shown up. It wasn’t until only an hour prior to the appointment when I saw my blond haired Thunder God waltz in as if he owned the place. I looked across the room at him from my seat at the booth I was sharing with Bickslow (And Ever, until she decided to abandon us for the Strauss siblings).  
  
“Good Afternoon, Laxus,” I said, hopping off of my barstool and walking over to him, earning me a snicker from the Seith mage.

“‘Sup,” he replied, waving his hand in the air nonchalantly. “When do we have to go see the woman?”

“Master Makarov told me she expected us to return by three,” I replied, walking next to him as he approached the bar.

“Well, shit,” he said, stopping in his tracks. “I guess I shouldn’t have slept so late. Might’ve helped if she had the decency to tell us though.” He gave Bickslow a quick wave of the hand and then turned to me to say, “Let’s go.”

I didn’t understand why we had to leave immediately, as it only took around thirty minutes to walk to Porlyusica’s house - and that was walking slowly. However, we did set out immediately, and we were walking at a strangely slow pace. It had been going on for around five minutes before either of us said anything. I simply did not have the strength to break the silence which was absorbing the air around us.

“Freed…” Laxus spoke my name, but progressed no further. We continued walking on, with Laxus sparing a generous amount of glances in my direction, until he spoke again. “What are we going to do, Freed? This kid is most likely mine, and that means we’re going to have a child together. Me and you. A kid.” He sighed heavily before continuing on to say, “I didn’t think I’d be having kids for a long time. I’ve always been so careful not to knock some chick up. I never could have guessed that you’d be the one I got pregnant.”

“I offer my greatest apologies, Laxus. It is entirely my fault. If only I would have reacted quicker to the spell that was cast, or if only I hadn’t had a few too many drinks at the party… If I could have controlled the way I acted, none of this would have happened…” I only hoped that Laxus could find a way to forgive me, despite the fact that I had messed up so fatally. I felt tears begging to fall from my eyes, but.I denied them access to the outside world. It was strange, I couldn’t fathom why my eyes would begin to tear up from such a small admittance.

“Shut the hell up,” was his initial response. A moment later he mumbled, “It’s equally as much my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk either, and it’s my responsibility to protect you fools.” He scowled at me for a second before letting out a small chuckle, “Wait a second, did you say you had ‘a few too many drinks’? How many is a ‘few too many’ for you? One?”

“It took more than one drink!” I replied, fully playing along in the little game that Laxus was trying to play. It was calming despite the fact that I still felt I was to blame.

“Two?” He asked, laughing slightly. I was pleased that even in the midst of confusion and desperation, we were able to have one of these moments. I loved it when the man I was in love with broke away from seriousness to simply poke fun at me.

“I believe the number I consumed was actually four,” I explained, brushing my hair out of my eye as I turned my head to smile at the electrically charged man I loved.

Laxus, however, seemed to have grown a lot more solemn, and as I glanced towards him, instead of being met with that goofy grin, I was met with a stoic face, staring straight ahead. Porlyushica’s house was looming in the distance though, so I didn’t think I could blame him.

When we got to the door, I was hesitant to knock, so naturally, I turned to my dragon for support, “You ready?” I asked him.

“Of course I’m ready, I ain’t scared of an old lady like you are, Freed,” he replied, knocking loudly on the door.

“It’s about time you got here!” Porlyushica yelled from inside the house, even though we were at least thirty minutes early. She slammed the door open and yelled, “Get in here!” before immediately walking back inside, leaving Laxus and I to follow. Laxus and I simply stood in the living room, waiting for her to say something to us. Instead, she just walked into the other room of her small hut, and called out, “Well sit down already!” I supposed it was more of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation - I didn’t want to sit in the wrong place, but not sitting also put me at fault. Laxus and I sat together on the small couch she had in her room, squished awkwardly together in what must have been an uncomfortable position for the mountain of a man next to me. For me, however, it was rather enjoyable.

“Well, I have a few ancient spell books in my possession that suggest spells which can impregnate a male, but there are only two. Other than these two, I haven’t been able to locate anything on the subject of male impregnation. Both of the ones I’ve found require a female, however, and they impregnate the caster, so they are out of the question.” She said to us.

“Could there be any more in the national archives?” I suggested, longing to help the pink haired woman decipher what happened to me.

“Do you think I was too stupid to think of that? I wasn’t talking to you, stupid human!” She yelled in response.

“Well, do you at least have something that can tell us who the parents are?” Laxus asked. It dawned on me once more that that question was most likely the entire reason he had promised to protect me from the lady in the first place.

“Why wouldn’t I?” She responded indignantly, “I’ll go ahead and run that test now, just so you stupid humans will let me focus!” She created a magical circle and pointed her arms towards me, and it slowly changed from red to green. Afterwards, she motioned a hand at Laxus and said, already buried in another book, “Makarov’s grandson got you pregnant, okay?”

She immediately turned back fully to her work trotting back into the other room, but I didn’t really care one way or another anymore. Laxus was the father of my child. I was having a family with Laxus, so he had to care, right? It was a terrible way to think, but I couldn’t really help it. I allowed myself to glance at Laxus and almost immediately regretted it. He looked stunned. His mouth was slightly open and there were even a few sparks dancing about his body. He never wanted the kid - not that I did either, but still. I should’ve known all along that if the child was his, he’d react negatively. To him, sleeping with me was a mistake he made while intoxicated - something he would reverse if he could. The baby must be both a constant reminder that he slept with his male teammate and a burden to his carefree, stoic attitude.

“Freed?” I heard my name ring out beside me, but I didn’t desire to communicate at that point in time. “Hey, you okay?” His hand landed on my shoulder, shaking me slightly, but I refused to acknowledge anything. “Porlyusica, we’re leaving. C’mon Freed,” he said, pulling on my arm and giving me no choice but to follow him. I stood carefully and slowly followed him, painfully ingoring the man I loved.

“You two better be back here at this same time next week. I’m going to Crocus’s magic library to look for spells. Do you see the amount of trouble you stupid humans are causing me?” She yelled to us as we walked out the door. We walked silently until we were at the edge of the forest the lady lived in, and then Laxus grabbed my shoulders, turning me to face him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked, gripping my shoulders tighter. I stared at him for a few minutes, then tried to mechanically turn exactly ninety degrees so that I could face away from him and continue walking, but once I showed resistance, he gripped my shoulders hard enough where if I struggled, he might leave a bruise. “Freed, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s up.”

I shook my head gently, but I knew he wasn’t bluffing. After a few minutes, I said, “You don’t want this kid, do you?” I spoke clearly, but it was all I could do to hold back a dam of tears that seemed to be on the brink of falling over the edge of my eyes. It was pathetic of me to be brought to tears by such a small event.

“Freed, you’re being a little crazy,” Laxus spoke, keeping his voice flat. I knew I was being irrational, but I also was positive that ‘happy’ was not a word that could describe Laxus’s emotions towards the notion of our child together.

“I know you don’t want the kid. You wouldn’t want to have a child even if it was with some beautiful girl, so why should you even think twice about the one that’s growing inside of me?” I broke down slightly, but I was able to wipe the tears away as I whispered, “All I am to you is a burden. I’m just some guy you accidentally fucked. You wanted it all to disappear, but instead you’re stuck with a constant reminder of it…”

“Freed, calm down,” he said quietly, failing to even deny the fact that he didn’t want the kid. As much as I would like to, there was no way I could simply calm down. There was a being growing inside of me that might only have only had one parent to raise it once it was ready to escape into the world around it.

“Release me at once!” I cried out, “You are just going to end up despising me for giving birth to your child,” I yelled, slightly quieter. My outbursts attracted the attention of a few passersby, but I wasn’t really in the mindset to care. Laxus was going to hate me for tying him down to one place.

Laxus glared at me as I yelled at him, causing me to instantly regret it, but his grip only tightened. “Okay, yeah. I wasn’t really expecting to have children at this age. There’s still stuff I plan on doing with my life. I mean, I’m only twenty-four.”

At that point, I cut him off, nearly angered by his words. “At your age? Laxus, I’m only twenty. I haven’t done anything that I’ve longed to do with my life. Up to this day, the only things of importance I have accomplished are training my magic capabilities and creating the Thunder Legion! The first time I even had sex was when you got me pregnant!” I burst into tears as I finished my little outburst. I had finally allowed the severity of my situation to sink in. All of the stress I had been avoiding and all of the dread of having a child came rushing into my mind, and I simply couldn’t bear it.

Laxus stood still for a second, letting everything I said soak in, and he slowly turned red. “Hey, stop your crying,” he softly said, wiping the tears clumsily from my face. “No matter what, I’ll love the kid. Long ago, I promised myself that if I ever had kids, I’d treat them right. I ain’t going to be some crummy dad like the one I had. Now c’mon, we can go pick your favorite jacket up from the dry-cleaners’ and then go back to my place and have this conversation where you’re safer.” Laxus released my shoulders, but quickly grabbed back onto them as I started crumpling to the ground. Even though I had just been yelling at him, he was so caring as to simply wipe the tears from my eyes and soothe the situation. It was a side of that man that was rarely shown to the world. It made me love him even more


	7. Long Nights and Eventful Mornngs

We walked quietly to Laxus’s house after picking up my jacket. I was still slightly sniffly, and Laxus was trapped deep in his thoughts. However, by the time we walked in the door, we began to slip into our usual manner of laughing and teasing each other. It was rather comforting to be swaddled once more in my favorite jacket - it didn’t even hold the slightest evidence that it once was stained. We joked around about the last time we were in that house - skirting around the main issue - while Laxus got us some drinks. He, naturally, drank a beer, but he was sweet enough to brew a pot of tea specifically for me.

Eventually, however, all of our fun and games boiled down into both of us getting comfortable in our spots in his living room. As I sunk down onto the couch and Laxus sunk down into his chair, he looked me straight in the eyes and asked, “Freed, what are we going to do with this kid?”

“I am going to raise my child no matter what! What kind of question is that?” I called out, rising from my seat that I had only just claimed.

“Calm down, _mom_ ,” he replied, waving his hand as if to signal me to sit back down. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant what are we going to tell it?”

“What do you mean when you say, ‘tell it’?” I asked, obediently sitting right back down.

“Are we gonna tell the little kid it has two fathers? What if it asks us about its friend’s families that have a mom and a dad? What if our kid gets bullied because we aren’t quite a traditional family?” He leaned back all the way and closed his eyes as he finished talking, furrowing his brow in his thoughts.

“I don’t see what else we could tell it. We are the child’s parents, and we cannot tell it any other variation. If the child asks about the mother that the rest of its friends have, then we can explain that our family is special - we could possibly even explain it as magical. Most importantly, however, if our child gets bullied, the bullies will have the whole of Fairy Tail to answer to.” It was strange how much faith I put in the guild that I had once turned against. I would do anything to protect them.

“Well, what if one of us gets married?” Laxus asked, looking back up at me as he spoke. I didn’t quite understand how he didn’t understand the way I felt from the depiction of the night I got pregnant, but I wasn’t going to shove it out in the open any further than I already mistakenly had. I knew I would never be able to find a man better for me than Laxus even if I searched the entire world, so it was hopeless to look forward to marriage.

“Well, what about it?” I replied, almost as a snap. I managed to calm down in order to say, “If you find a woman suitable to you as a partner for life, then there is no doubt she will be a suitable stepmother for our child.”

“A mom would probably help the kid out,” Laxus replied, giving off a faint smile, “ _Especially_ if we have a little girl. I’ve never been the best at tying bows and picking out dresses.”

“We’ll manage,” was my only response. I desperately longed to stand up and enforce the fact that even if we do have a girl, Laxus and I could raise her perfectly fine on our own.

“The kid will have to choose which of us it wants to live with full time once the age is appropriate for that. Then we’ll have to find out a way to transport the kid from house to house on a regular basis.” Laxus replied, bringing up what could be considered a serious problem - a serious problem normally reserved for separated parents.

“Regardless of which of us the child decides to live with, there will be ample time to see both of us. Fairy Tail will most likely be a second home in its life.” I wished to tack onto the end that we could simply move in together - simply as the parents of our child - , but I didn’t feel as if Laxus would share my feelings on that topic.

“Heh, Bix and Ever will be like a little aunt and uncle,” he laughed, but I couldn’t help but cringe slightly at the thought.

“Bickslow won’t be a very… mature uncle.” I replied, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to teach the child about perverted subjects and curse words.” Despite how serious I was, I let out a slight chuckle at the end.

“Ever wouldn’t really be any better if you think about it. She’d either never stop teasing the kid or form an alliance with it against us.”

“They would both be invaluable though. They’ll no doubt always be there when we need help with the kid, and the second anything goes wrong, they’d treat our child as their own.”

Laxus and I continued to chat back and forth as such for hours, eventually drifting away from the topic of raising our kid and more towards the fact that our lives were never going to be the same again. Surprisingly enough, we managed to keep calm and level - both of us - throughout all of the conversations. However, maybe they ended up too calm, seeing as I woke up in the middle of the night swaddled in Laxus’s arms. My initial reflex was to snuggle up closer to his chest, not ceasing my actions long enough to awaken and contemplate them. When I rubbed my head up against his chest, however, I was met with a gruff grunt and Laxus saying, “Oh, you’re awake.” It was then that I realized that Laxus was not cuddling me, but was instead in the process of picking me up, bridal style. “You dozed off, so I figured the bed was better than the couch.”

I barely stayed awake long enough to ensure he knew I was grateful, then I immediately passed back out, not even keeping consciousness long enough to feel him lay me down on the bed and tuck me in. He even made sure to take my coat off in order to keep it from being tousled up immediately after the magic cleaning. Once you looked past his gruff exterior, he was a kind and caring man. He was going to be the most wonderful father in the world.

* * *

  
I awoke peacefully, for once in my life, as the sun streamed into Laxus’s guest bedroom through the curtainless window. Judging by the position of the sun, however, I figured Laxus would not have awaken yet. (It wasn’t quite noon yet.) I lay in bed for a few minutes, simply letting my mind meander about all of the recent developments in my life. Eventually, however, I got up and wandered into the kitchen, seeking some food to appease my grumbling stomach. I saw a note propped up against the coffee pot as I walked in.

“Freed,

You will get up at an ungodly hour, so feel free to brew some coffee. You know where it is. (Freezer, top shelf, already open.) Wake me before noon.”

His words wandered about the page, not quite following the lines. They were slanted so far to the right that I could have sworn they would simply fall over. It was charming to see my Thunder God’s handwriting so sloppily rendered on a piece of paper simply for me. I carefully folded the note into a small square and tucked it into one of the pockets on my pants.

I made coffee enough for both Laxus and I then proceeded to clean up his kitchen. I continued on to tidy up the living room and make the bed that I slept in the night before. I even went so far as to prepare a casserole for Laxus to cook for dinner. I left it along with heating instructions in the fridge. He always had trouble cooking on his own, so I felt obligated to help out a bit. He needn’t waste so much of his income of dining out of his house.

After I finished cleaning the kitchen a second time (I didn’t want to leave a mess from my food preparation), I wandered into the living room to peruse Laxus’s bookcase. It pleased me to see all of the books I had gifted him over the years shelved on their own shelf. I felt as if I was given a place of honor in his house. I picked a book at random from his personal stash, plopped down on the couch, and began to read it. It was a simple-minded action novel, but it wasn’t written too poorly, despite how stereotypical the plot was.

As I was nearing the end of the book, I heard shuffling behind me. Now, if anyone was in a position to know something about Laxus, it would be me, and I knew how much he hated to talk in the morning before he had fully awoken, therefore I only called out, “Morning, coffee is in the pot,” before returning to my nearly completed novel.

After a few minutes, Laxus had managed to gulp down two piping hot cups of coffee and I the last chapter of the book. As I stood up to place it back on the shelf, Laxus grumbled, “How long you been up?”

“I only awakened a couple hours ago,” I replied, trying not to grin at his morning grumbles.

“Shoulda woken me,” he replied, rubbing his eyes as he spoke.

“I would prefer to keep my life intact,” I replied.

“Oh, shut up,” he retorted, actually speaking in his regular voice instead of his morning grumbles, but quickly reverted to grumble, “I’m going to shower and shave, then we can go. You can use the other shower.” I nodded in response, walking over towards his bathroom. The bathroom I was throwing up in last time I was at his house  
.  
I couldn’t help but think towards the time right before I fell victim to my hangover. I got to see my Thunder God naked. It was quite the impressive sight. I showered as quickly as I could, attempting to push that thought out of my mind. I finished my shower within a few minutes, seeing as I did not want to deal with my hair when I was out of my own household. When I hopped out of the shower, I noticed that Laxus had once more left me a pair of his clothes to wear for that day. I put them on, relishing in the scent that wafted from them. I completed my outfit by pulling my coat on over the baggy clothes and tying my hair near the bottom of the mass, as I always did.

As I walked out of the steamy bathroom, Laxus called out from the living room,”You ready to go?” His voice had lost all grumbles from earlier, replaced by the soft and gentle voice that my love used when he was alone with the Thunder Legion.

I nodded in response and we set out, almost instinctively, for the guild. Words were not needed to express where we were going, for where else would we head in Magnolia? Porlyuschica would not be seeing us again for a week, and there really wasn’t anywhere else we would need to be.

“I figured I could tell Gramps about the fact that he’s actually going to be a great-grandfather in a couple months. He’ll probably end up throwing a party or something once I confirm the fact that I have a kid growing inside you though.” Laxus smiled, taking long, confident strides towards the guild.

The more I thought about what he said, however, the more I realized something was amiss. “Laxus, pardon my confusion, but what do you mean by ‘confirm’? We never mentioned to the main populace of the guild that you were even suspected to be the father. Only the Thunder Legion knows that fact.”

Laxus stopped all of the sudden, the sleeves of his ever-present jacket (read: cape) swung foward before drooping lifelessly downwards. “Well, shit,” he mumbled. It felt as if I were responsible for making my pillar of support look so helpless.

“It will be okay,” I attempted to make him feel better about the whole situation. He was right anyways. Once he announced it, they would all throw a party despite the life-altering consequences of his announcement, so he needn’t worry.

“I don’t want to simply walk in and tell him I knocked you up. He’ll be expecting a report of the doctor’s visit and instead be bombarded with the shock of a lifetime,” Laxus almost snapped at me, but he controlled his temper long enough to finish his sentence.

“If it would appease the situation, I could tell him that you are the father on my own.” I replied, attempting to find a solution.

“Oh, yeah, that sure would be real polite, letting the guy I knocked up tell not only Gramps, but also any nosy bystanders. I’d look pathetic if I just stood by and let you tell everyone.” Laxus stayed still for a second after that, then began walking, seemingly with purpose once more. “Complaining won't help anything or anyone though, so let's get to the guild.”

“So you’re just going to tell him?” I asked, confused as to of the sudden shift in Laxus’s behavior.

“There’s no point in feeling sorry for myself when I have a kid I need to be worrying over instead. Anyways, the only thing that could come of delaying the announcement to Gramps would be some sort of deeper problem, so I’m simply going to suck it up and tell him about my child. It’s as simple as that.” And with that, we arrived at the front door the the guild.

I grinned at Laxus as I reached for the door handle. “Are you ready to go I?” I asked.

“Of course I am, so stop hesitating and let's go,” he responded, swinging the door open and walking in to the guild which would forever be home to the child


	8. Cooks and Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness. I broke my glasses last night while I was typing the last chapter, and let me say, it was quite awkward to wear them with only one lense in to type this one. Only one of my eyes actually needs a lense, but I get terrible headaches if I type without them, so I wore them through it. What can I say, this is one of my favorite parts in the story so far, so I powered through it. I hope you guys enjoy!

It felt like the instant we walked in, Bickslow was already calling out to us. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him, but I didn’t want anything to detract from my Laxus’s determination and resolve which he had painstakingly gathered on the walk to the guild. However, seeing as Bickslow was the person closest to me besides Laxus, I felt almost obligated to answer.

“Good Afternoon, Bickslow” I said in return, waving my hand as a gesture of greeting.

“Sup,” Laxus quietly mumbled, glancing around the room sporadically.

“Give the rest of us some time to talk here Laxus,” Bickslow replied, holding his hands up as if he were trying to stop something.

“Shut up,” Laxus replied, walking off towards the bar.

“What’s he got up his ass today?” Bickslow asked, causing me to wince as I contemplated how likely he was to curb his language in the presence of my child.

“His stress levels are higher than usual today. He wishes to inform the master of the fact that the child growing inside of me is his, but he failed to realize that Master knew nothing of the fact that it might be Laxus’s.”

“Oh, no shit. So it really is his, huh?” Bickslow replied, seemingly surprised himself.

“Indeed. It is rather strange once I think about the fact that his child is growing inside of me. However, to someone who hadn't the slightest idea that it might be Laxus’s kid, it will be infinitely more surprising.” I wished there was some way I could lessen the blow, simply to help Laxus’s stress, but I knew that wasn’t possible. Even Bix was surprised, and he knew that Laxus had a large chance to be the father.

“Sounds like that one’s a bitch,” Bickslow replied after a few seconds. “Want me to help you guys out?”

I stared at Bickslow for a few seconds, trying to think of an easy way to tell him that if we took him with us, he’d most likely just crudely tell the master. He wasn’t exactly the best person to assist in delicate situations. However, I was saved by the fact that Laxus had wandered back over in time to hear Bickslow’s proposition and he shut him down with a firm, “No. We don’t need help.”

Bickslow leaned over to me while laughing quite inconspicuously to not quite whisper, “Someone’s in a pissy mood today.”

Of course on any normal day, that would have spurred Laxus into a small scuffle with the smaller man, but seeing as he was determined and set in his mind on this particular day, all it earned Bickslow was a glare. In fact, Laxus didn’t even go so far as to exchange blows in the form of words with Bickslow, instead simply saying to me, “He’s probably downstairs. Let’s go.”

“Farewell,” I said to Bickslow, trailing after Laxus like the lap dog he once saw me as.

Sure enough, as we walked down the last step to the basement game room, the master was sitting on one of the tables. Laxus strode over to him while I simply waited at the foot of the stairs. I knew Laxus would request that we have this conversation in private, therefore there was no need for me to walk across the room and draw unnecessary attention to myself. Sure enough, after a few seconds, the master gave a nod to Laxus and the two of them headed in my direction. We walked in silence upstairs to the office in which Master Makarov conducted official business. As soon as the door shut behind us, however, that silence dissipated as the master asked, “So, Laxus, what did you need to tell me?”

When Laxus didn’t say anything immediately, I took it upon myself to initiate the conversation, “Well, in our visit with Porlyuschica we learned a few things about my pregnancy.” I didn't quite feel comfortable directly discussing my condition with anyone other than the Thunder Legion, but it had to be done.

Laxus shot me a glance that was bordering on a glare, however, so I did not continue. “What Freed was tryin’ to say, Gramps, was that we figured out who the father, the second father that is, of his child is.”

“And why did you two need to tell me this in private?” Makarov questioned, looking up at the both of us.

“Well, there’s no easier way to put it, so I’m just going to tell you that you’re going to be a great grandfather,” Laxus said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head as he spoke. He refused to make eye contact with anyone in the room as his face grew to be a beautiful light red.

“It’s you?” Makarov asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah, it’s me, Gramps.” Laxus replied, glancing down at his grandfather for a split second before looking away again.

“I didn’t even know the two of you were together,” Makarov stated, causing Laxus to lose any semblance of calmness he had managed to muster.

“I-it isn’t like that!” He exclaimed, “We’re not together, he’s just pregnant with my kid.”

“Very well then,” Makarov replied, taken aback by his grandson’s outburst. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a great grandfather… We need to tell the rest of the guild.” It pleased me that the master was actually happy with this development. I was nervous, for no good reason, that he would be upset that his great grandchild was to be birthed by a man. I was however, saddened once more by the fact that Laxus ever so vehemently denied any involvement between the two of us. I wanted to raise our child as a family, but I knew how far off that daydream truly was. There was no way in hell Laxus would settle down with someone like myself.

“I ‘spose we do,” Laxus replied, walking out the office to look over the edge of the balcony. From the second floor balcony, the whole guild was spread out below you. It seemed to be the perfect place to make an important announcement such as the one we needed to make.

“I would like to make the announcement,” I stated quietly to Laxus, without turning away from the railing. I was growing nervous of their reaction, despite the fact that I knew the end result would be a party - as per usual. I could feel my palms growing sweaty as Laxus called attention to the guild, and when I tried to speak, my words were caught in my throat. I had never had a problem speaking to crowds before - in fact, I excelled in public speaking - so when the all too familiar feeling of nausea swept over my body, causing me to dart into the nearest restroom, it was only natural that I was bewildered.

I didn’t even have the time to turn on the light or close the door of the small bathroom before I had to kneel down in front of the toilet and begin to empty my stomach contents into it. I heard footsteps tentatively walk into the room and a soft voice called out, “Freed? What happened? Are you okay?” Laxus was the sweetest man in the world in my eyes, even going so far as to accompany me in my pain. “Everyone is worried now.”

“I should be fine. I’m simply suffering from,” I paused for a second, thinking I was going to empty even more of my guts into the toilet, “temporary nausea.”

“You’ve never freaked from talking to people before, so what’s up?” Laxus asked, kneeling down next to me. He still towered over me, causing me to feel even more secure when he gently pulled my hair out of my face and held it behind my head.

“I’m not sure,” I replied. I didn’t want to worry him, but I wanted to lie even less. I hadn’t the slightest idea as to of why I was reduced to shambles on a bathroom floor.

“Could it be something wrong with the baby?” Laxus asked, his voice wavering slightly.

“I don’t think so,” I replied, even though in all honestly I didn’t know one way or another. Despite all of the things I had extensively studied, pregnancy was not something I knew much about at all. I knew I would never be getting someone else pregnant and I never would have been able to guess I would be impregnated by Laxus.

“I hope not,” Laxus’s voice cracked that time. I could tell he was nearing the verge of tears. I felt his body start to shake slightly as I vomited once more.“I don’t want anything bad to happen to it…”

I didn’t know what to say to make him believe it was going to be okay. I raked through my thoughts just as the nausea raked through my stomach, struggling to find a solution to the situation. However, I was only met with my sickness and a voice wafting in from the hallway. “Aww, how sweet,” Ever cooed as she flipped the light switch on.

The light flooded my vision and forced my head back down towards the toilet. It intensified both the pain I was feeling in my skull and the feeling of turmoil in my stomach. “E-Ever, can you turn off the light?” I asked, choking slightly on the remnants of what I’d eaten that day.

The room was luckily plunged back into darkness. When I looked up, I saw Bickslow had followed Ever in, turning it off upon his entry. “C’mon Ever, we came to check on him, not make his life miserable.”

The presence of my entire team in the tiny bathroom was starting to make me feel self conscious over my unattractive vomiting, as well as the fact that I was pretty sure Laxus was crying when they walked in. My Thunder God. Crying.

“Well he’s crying over _nothing_ ,” Ever replied, laughing slightly.

“What do you mean nothing?” Bickslow replied, leaning over me to stare down both at me and the mess I had made with the contents of my stomach, “He looks pretty sick to me.”

“Ugh, all you boys are the same,” she replied, flipping her hair to the side a little. “Am I the only one on this team with any knowledge?” She looked around the room for a few seconds before saying, “I guess I am then. It’s most likely just morning sickness. Pregnant women deal with it all the time, so it’s no wonder Freed is suffering from it too.” She placed her hands on her hips as if she were lecturing us about how to properly behave. It was a little frustrating to have her act so snooty while I was suffering, but I was in no position to anger her, as she was the resource for the information I so desperately longed to obtain.

“Ever, it ain’t morning,” Bickslow said, cackling as if she had told a hilarious joke.

That earned him a glare from the intimidating woman as she snapped, “That’s just the name, _moron_. It doesn’t have to happen in the morning. All of you boys are so ignorant about pregnancy.” I saw a smirk grace her face as she spoke. Despite the fact that she was like family to me, when she got arrogant on us, it was highly frustrating to have her around.

“How do I fix it?” I asked, desperate for something to help me get my composure back.

“Well, it’s usually a case by case thing. Some women don’t suffer from it at all and some are plagued by it for their entire pregnancy. It’ll go away soon most likely. The only thing you can really do is wait it out. While it sucks for you, it’s pretty hilarious for me though, so I don’t really mind.” I was met with dismay as she explained there wasn’t really a cure. I simply had to deal with the crippling nausea for an unspecified amount of time, all the while being teased relentlessly by one of my teammates.

“Get out,” I heard Laxus’s voice rumble behind me. There were a couple split seconds of increased illumination as the man behind me no doubt began to spark.

“Pardon me?” She asked with a huff.

“You heard me. He can’t even stand up and you think it’s funny? Get out.” Laxus let go of my hair, stood up, and got in her face to say the last part. “We’re supposed to be a team, Evergreen.”

“Have fun dealing with everything on your own then,” she said as she stormed off, making it a point to flip the light switch on as she left. Bickslow rushed to flip it back off for me, thankfully.

“God dammit, why is she so rude sometimes,” Laxus huffed, plopping back down on the floor behind me once more.

“C’mon Laxus, you know she just wanted us all to praise her for being an all knowing source of knowledge. She’s still your teammate,” Bickslow said before looking down at me and saying, “Need anything, Freed?”

“Only mental clarity and the restoration of my full capabilities,” I replied, “And I doubt you can give me that.”

“Very funny, Freed,” Bickslow replied, giving me a fake laugh afterwards. “Seriously though, you shouldn’t have to sit on that disgusting floor.”

“Well I’m in no condition to walk all the way back to my house.” I wasn’t quite feeling as nauseous as I was a few minutes ago, but I refused to risk walking half an hour only to have to stop halfway and empty my stomach once more. “My house is much too far away.”

“If Ever wasn’t in such a pissy mood, we could take you to her house, but that’s out of the question, so I guess we’ll take you to Laxus’s.” Bickslow said, holding his hand out to help me up.

“Wait just a second,” Laxus said, “Do I not get a say in this?”

“You’d just say yes anyways, so I didn’t ask,” Bickslow replied, cackling once more.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” His babies called out, swirling around his head. I stood up, brushing off my pants as I did. However, I wasn’t quite feeling up to par as of yet, and I stumbled forwards slightly. Luckily for me, Bickslow and Laxus both reached out to catch me. However, upon our clumsy exit from the guild, both men ready to catch me if I were to stumble again, everyone began to swarm us with questions of my health. I began to feel smothered and overwhelmed until Laxus came to my rescue.

“Everyone back the fuck up! He’s sick and we’re trying to get him home,” he yelled, sending a few of the more timid members running as if something were trying to kill them. The rest of our walk was quick and efficient. We walked as fast as we could without me either feeling sick or getting so disoriented from the bright lights that I began to lose my balance. As soon as we arrived. I no longer felt quite as nauseous, but I had exhausted my energy by throwing up earlier.

“You need anything to eat?” Bickslow asked me as I got comfortable on the couch, “I’m sure Laxus has something or another I can cook up.”

“Damn. First you just invite him to my house, then you just act like my food is yours to make,” Laxus chuckled as he joked around with Bickslow. His relationship with us as a team brought a smile to my face as I felt my consciousness melt into sleep.

“I’m not hungry,” I said, forcing myself to answer before I succumbed to the beckoning of sleep.

“I got you a glass of water,” Bickslow said, coming back in and causing me to open my eyes once more. “Vomit makes the mouth taste like shit. You shouldn’t sleep like that.” He forced the cup of water into my hands, which I gratefully gulped down. As soon as the water cup was empty, however, I laid my head right back down on one of Laxus’s throw pillows and started to let myself drift off once more.

“Do you need anything?” Laxus asked, pulling me back from the beyond for one last time. He was kneeling in front of the couch, staring at me intently. I almost felt tempted to ask for a kiss, but I knew that would only drive the man away.

“I think he just wants to sleep,” Bickslow yelled from the kitchen. He was most likely already preparing a dinner for Laxus and I, seeing as the entire Thunder Legion knew firsthand how terrible Laxus was at cooking.

“Then maybe you should shut the hell up!” Laxus yelled back, causing me to grin once more before I finally let go of my consciousness and drifted into the peaceful world of sleep.

* * *

 

When I woke up, the house smelled wonderfully of steamed vegetables, melting cheese, and some sort of delectable meat. Bickslow obviously continued with his promise to cook. Out of all of the Thunder Legion, Bickslow might be the best cook. I wasn’t too shabby myself, but his food possessed another level of feeling which I could never infuse into mine. The clock told me that he had had a few hours to work on whatever masterpiece he had created during my nap, and my appetite told me that I was fully ready to devour it - there was nary a trace of my earlier stomachache.

“What masterful creation have you cooked up this time?” I called out to Bickslow, startling Laxus, who was sitting on his chair across the room.

“Bickslow made soup,” Laxus replied, holding up a bowl of his own which was previously full, “And now mine is all over my lap.” He cracked a slight smile despite the fact that I could tell he was attempting to play it as if he were upset at me for startling him.

“Not just any soup, Laxus,” Bickslow called from the kitchen as Laxus got up to go change in his bedroom.

“Chicken noodle soup!” His babies chanted, zooming out of the kitchen with a bowl for me. “Hot! Hot!”

“Soup is good for sick people,” Bickslow said, coming out of the kitchen donned in a pink apron without his mask on.

“Many thanks,” I replied, eating the soup quickly despite the fact that it was burning my mouth. I finished it very quickly, but my stomach still wasn’t satisfied.

“Already done?” My Thunder God chuckled as he walked back into the living roo, this time I. Pair of pajama pants instead of his usual garb.

“My stomach is going to eat itself if I don’t eat something first.” I explained, getting up to get more soup. It was strange in my mind how I went from nearly incapable of basic functions before my nap to this voracious appetite which I possessed afterwards, but I put it up to the fact that I most likely _did_ have some sort of crazy hormones running through my body due to the pregnancy.

Laxus, Bickslow, and I ate and talk for quite some time (The casserole kept coming up as a way to make fun of me from Bickslow. I guess he thought it was funny how much I cared for the man who impregnated me.) until Bickslow finally wound up the night by saying, “Well, it’s getting late and my house is quite the walk away. Plus, I’m gonna run by Ever’s house and make sure she hasn’t murdered anyone in her rage.” He got up, gathered his mask and headed for the door. “Night guys”

“I should most likely be heading home myself,” I stated, getting up to walk towards the door alongside him. We would be separating almost immediately, however, as Ever lived much closer to the guild and I lived a little ways in the opposite direction.

“Will you be okay walking on your own?” Laxus asked, standing up as well.

“I can deal with it if the nausea comes back. The walk isn’t that far.” I felt honored that he was worried over me, despite the fact that I knew he would be just as worried if any other member of the team was feeling ill.

“I’ll walk with you. I don’t want to hear about you collapsing on the way home with no one there to help you.” Laxus walked over to the door where Bickslow and I were already standing. My heart began to race as I saw him confidently walk over to me. I would get even more time alone with him. It felt as if I was gaining more and more alone time with the man I loved as of late. I guess that’s what happens when someone gets you pregnant.

“Night guys. Be safe,” Bickslow said as he walked out the door and towards Ever’s house. Her house wasn’t even in the same direction as his. I suppose he simply didn’t want her to be angry at him for any longer.

Laxus and I began our walk in the opposite direction. The walk was quiet, but we were walking close, so it was nice. I just wished we could be a little bit closer so I could actually touch him. I longed to snuggle up against him. I loved him, and I knew how much he cared about me. It made me thankful for the cover of the night when I felt my face growing hot. I just wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

“God, Bix can’t even leave Ever alone for ten minutes. Gotta feel bad for him though,” Laxus mumbled, glancing behind us to ensure the Seith Mage was out of sight.

“How so?” I questioned, looking up towards Laxus as we walked.

“She’s all over Elfman these days when Bickslow’s loved her for years.” He stared ahead, seemingly waiting for a response, but I had no idea what to say. I thought I was the only one he had shared that information with. “I know he tries to hide it, but he’s just so obvious. Always worried when she’s angry and always staring at her when she leaves our table to sit over with the Strauss siblings.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if my love for Laxus was just as obvious. If he knew about Bickslow, did he know how much I cared and simply put up with it? Why had he never acknowledged me? Or was he simply too oblivious to notice, even after our night together? As we walked up to my porch and he waved his hand to say, “Night Freed,” I couldn’t help but feel compelled to tell him how I felt, to get it off my chest once and for all. After all, our times that I cherished always ended with me longing for more time and him nonchalantly walking away. I needed this time to be different.

“Laxus,” I called out, not even thinking of the consequences. “Wait.”

I ran up to him, despite his look of bewilderment as he said, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Laxus,” I said, wrapping my arms gently around his larger frame.

“Freed, what are you doing?” He asked, his voice growing higher.

“I love you.” I mumbled into his chest.


	9. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me

“I love you,” I said into Laxus’s chest, relishing in the fact that I could hear his heartbeat beating against my face. My face began to heat up once more, but this time, it felt like it was only natural. Of course my face would heat up as I confessed to the man I loved for years.

However, the jovial feeling that was coursing through my veins was shattered as I heard Laxus say my name, “F-Freed.” His voice was barely above a whisper. It sounded as if he couldn’t bring it above that tone lest it shatter him as well. I pulled my face away from his chest as I actually contemplated what I’d done. I had _confessed_ to _Laxus_. My Thunder God. The man I loved.

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked out, my eyes wide, backing a few steps away from him. My heart was racing even faster than when I was actually hugging him (Faster than when I woke up beside him). I looked up at his face, hoping to get an answer telling me it was all okay, but instead I was met with aversion. He wouldn’t even look at me, let alone look me in the eyes.

“Freed, I…” Laxus paused for a second, looking around as if searching for an excuse, “I have to go. It’s uh, getting late.” With that shaky statement, my Thunder God turned away from me and began briskly walking back towards his own house.

“Laxus! Wait!” I yelled, tears beginning to gather in my eyes. He seemingly pretended as if he didn’t even hear me. I didn’t even gain a glance in my direction from him. I ran after him, his longer strides giving him a large lead already, and I grabbed the sleeve of his coat, which was trailing behind him. “Laxus, please. I’m sorry,” I said, this time quieter as I could feel the pain consuming my soul and pushing the remnants of it out through my eyes.

“I... can’t do this right now,” Laxus said, pulling gently on the sleeve of his coat in an attempt to reclaim it as his own. I refused to let go of it, however, thinking for some stupid reason that if I could just hold on, he couldn’t leave me. “I just can’t,” Laxus whispered, shrugging the coat entirely off his shoulders and walking away once more, leaving me with his coat and a broken heart. I couldn’t stand watching him walk away on a normal day, when I knew I’d see him again, but this time, it felt as if it were the end of the world, and I knew not whether I’d ever be graced with his presence again.

I struggled against the weight of my body as I watched him nearly running away from me. I gathered up the huge coat, wrapping it around myself as I trudged to the door of my house. It felt like it was miles away, when in reality it was only a few feet. My vision was clouded over entirely by a stream of never ending tears. I couldn’t help but think that I had ruined everything. Without Laxus, my entire life was ruined. I was pregnant with a child which would no longer have a father, for the father of my child hated me because I loved him. What a pitiful excuse for a love story that was.

As soon as I had shut the door behind me, I leaned up against it and collapsed upon the floor beneath it. I buried my face in the jacket, just as I had buried my face in Laxus’s chest mere minutes ago, and I began to full-on sob. I lay there on the floor until sunlight began to stream through the windows, only half aware of the world around me. At some point, I finally drifted off into the peaceful escape of sleep - a world where Laxus and I were still close.  
  
When I awoke, I was curled up into a little ball, laying on the furry coat as if it were a bed. For a split second, my mind couldn’t help but wonder, confused, where I was. During that split second, the world hadn’t crumbled down around me and I was still the composed and noble Freed Justine. During that split second, I was overjoyed to have the scent of my Thunder God wafting into my nose from the jacket. But, of course, that moment of bliss had to come to an end before it even existed long enough to be considered a “moment.”

I longed to simply stay curled up on that jacket forever. Maybe I could simply shrink away into nothingness if I laid there for long enough. However, my child (Laxus’s child, my mind forced me to think) had other plans for my morning (Afternoon? I couldn't tell how long I’d been out of it.).

I was forced off the floor for fear that I would ruin the jacket of the man I loved with the stench of the inner contents of my stomach. I emptied said contents of my stomach into my toilet until there was nothing left for me to empty. I then proceeded to wash my mouth out poorly, gather the jacket from the floor by the door and trudge into my bedroom. I curled up once more on the fuzzy jacket, dampening it with my tears. It felt as if my entire life was over.

For the next few days, the only times I brought myself out of bed were when I was sick, needed to use the bathroom, or needed to force myself to eat in order to give the child nutrients. I knew I needed to eat more, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to move for too long, lest my body be overtaken by the pain which was consuming my soul.

I wasn’t sure how many days had passed by the time I heard a knock on my door, but it had been more than a couple. My thoughts immediately leapt to the impossible - “it must be Laxus!” They screamed. However, those thoughts were immediately ground up into a fine powder the second I heard Bickslow yell, “Freed? You in there? Everyone is worried about you.”

“We’re worried!” One of his dolls continued on.

I didn’t answer at first, but I knew that Bickslow would be able to tell I was inside if he looked for my soul, so I managed to choke out the words, “I don’t feel like talking right now.” Speaking felt so alien to me, seeing as the only things that had escaped my lips over however long I had been holed up in my house were sobs.

“C’mon Freed, you sound terrible. Let me in,” Bickslow yelled back, banging on the door as he spoke.

“Go away!” I yelled in return, my voice cracking from the use it had not experienced in awhile.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Bickslow spoke quieter this time, but still his voice wafted into my room.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I heard two small voices chanting his words at me. I rolled out of bed gently, walking far enough to collapse on the couch quietly.

“Nothing happened. I just,” I paused for a second once I sat back down, raking my mind for an acceptable excuse, “I’m sick. Please leave.” I quietly said the last part, almost hoping that he wouldn't hear. Despite my pleas, I felt as if the other man’s company could be of assistance.

“Freed, I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth,” I heard a thud against the door as Bickslow no doubt slumped down against it to sit on my doorstep.

“Well you’re not coming in,” I struggled to raise my voice high enough for the man outside to hear. It was quiet for a little while after I spoke, but then I heard a small rustling at the doorknob and I knew that Bickslow was attempting to pick the lock, so I was forced out of my comfy spot once more in order to set up basic runes preventing his entry.

“Dammit, Freed,” Bickslow yelled out as he discovered the runes, “At least talk to me.”

I didn’t want to talk at all, but I figured it was at least worth it to appease my friend. “Has Laxus been at the guild the past few days?”

“I haven’t seen him arou-- Wait a second,” Bickslow cut himself off and I heard a commotion on the front porch. The door started shaking again as Bickslow exclaimed, “What the fuck did he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything,” I felt the tears begin to take hold of me once more as I contemplated Laxus’s absence from the guild. He must have been avoiding the guild in hopes that he wouldn’t have to see me there.

“Freed, are you okay?” Bickslow’s voice began to rise in volume once more, “Open the damn door.”

“Just leave me alone,” I said through the sobs which were overtaking my body. I nuzzled my face into the jacket which I had hoarded by my side all week, but it no longer smelled of Laxus.

“Freed, c’mon. Stop crying and let me in. I can’t help you from out here,” Bickslow began to pound on the door once more. I didn’t have the heart left to answer him any longer, however, so I simply wallowed in my guilt and the fact that Laxus hated me. “Freed, if you don’t take the runes down, I’m going to have to get someone else who can, and I don’t want to have to bring unnecessary eyes onto your suffering. Just please, let me in Freed.” I didn’t think he would actually do it until he sighed and said, “Let’s go get Levy, babies. Someone has to do something.”

“Wait!” I yelled, struggling to get up off the couch, “I’ll take them down,” I lowered my voice significantly for the second part of the sentence, for want of not hurting the long unused parts of my body by overusing them too suddenly. “Just… Don’t bring anyone else…” I mumbled my words, not even caring about the lack of clarity as I stumbled over to the door, removing the runes sloppily and unlocking it.

“Thanks,” Bickslow said, giving off an uneasy laugh, “I didn’t want to embarrass you by bringing anyone else here.”

I opened the door a crack, wincing at the light which streamed in ever so brightly. “Just get in,” I croaked.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way, but before he could close it and banish the wretched sunlight back to where it belonged, he stopped, his jaw wide open, and said, “Ho-ly shit, Freed.”

“You. look terrible!” His dolls yelled, circling around my head.

I shrunk back from the group of intruders, flopping back down onto the couch and wrapping myself in the jacket. “Why are you here?” I asked as Bickslow shut the door and sat down next to me. I longed to wallow in my self pity alone once more. I knew how I must look and didn’t wish for anyone other than myself to see the state I was in.

“For obvious reasons, Freed,” Bickslow’s voice lacked all of the joviality which it normally possessed, and he did not allow himself any of his maniacal laughing. It wasn’t right, seeing Bickslow so stern. “You haven’t been to the guild in over a week. Porlyuschica came in today bitching about you missing your appointment, so I came to check on you.” Bickslow looked at me for a few seconds before taking off his helmet to say, “What happened to you, Freed?”

Upon thinking of how to answer his question without giving away the pit I had dug myself into, I let my thoughts wander to the fact that the man I loved abandoned me simply because I loved him and I felt tears rising to my eyes once more. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I settled on the easy way out of the conversation and simply pulled my feet up onto the couch and buried my face in my knees. I knew it did nothing to mask my tears, but it at least made me feel more secure in them.

“Freed…” Bickslow softly said my name, echoed by his babies, “C’mon, umm,” He struggled to find his words, similar to when I told him of my pregnancy (Laxus’s baby), “Don’t cry.” He rubbed a circle or two on my back with his hand awkwardly, in some sort of attempt to make me feel better. Strangely enough, it worked a little.

“It’s okay! It’s okay!” His babies chanted. Although I couldn’t see them, I could feel them flying circles around me once more.

“You shouldn’t have to see me like this,” I whispered, struggling to dry my eyes and failing miserably. I longed for it to have been my Thunder God who came to check on me, despite the fact that that was a terrible thing to wish when one of my friends cared enough to nearly break down my door to assist me.

“It’s not your fault, but this can’t be healthy for the baby,” Bickslow looked around for a second before saying, “Babies, open the curtains and let a little light in.” While they flew over to my window and attempted to pull the curtains without any hands, Bickslow decided to attempt to correct my unhealthy eating habits. “How much have you been eating? I swear you look like you’ve lost weight in the past week and a Half, and that can’t be good for the baby.”

“I haven’t really been able to keep food down very well,” I said, pulling my knees away from my face as I wiped my eyes once more. I didn’t want to make eye contact with Bickslow when I knew he was about to care for me as if I were his own child.

As his little dolls finally got the curtains to open fully, Bickslow gave a slight, but overly uneasy and not quite as wicked sounding as usual, laugh and said, “Well shit, you look about ten times worse in the light. Freed, you look like you haven’t slept at all. You can’t be doing this to yourself when you have another human being growing inside of you. I’m going to make food, and you’re not doing anything until you eat it. Then, while we’re eating it, you’re going to tell me what happened and I’m going to see if I can’t help you out with fixing it.”

“It can’t be fixed,” I whispered, too quiet for him to hear as he walked into the kitchen. I struggled to fight the tears once more until he came back out of the kitchen a few minutes later and explained that he had thrown some sort of frozen junk in the oven for us to eat. Whatever it was was bound to taste delicious though, seeing how little I was able to keep down during the time in which I had isolated myself.

“Okay, now tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t tell me anything, I can’t even attempt to help you, Freed,” he spoke quietly, in a tone in which someone might use when talking someone off of the ledge of a building. Bickslow always had a knack at dissolving complicated situations, despite the fact that he normally acted like an oversized grade schooler.

Despite the fact that I longed to reverse what I did, Bickslow’s tone of voice seemingly coerced me into speaking. I felt as if if I just told him, there'd be a way to make everything better again. “I told him,” I said, praying for Bickslow to understand my words despite the brevity.

“You gotta give me a little more to work with here, Freed,” Bickslow cracked a smile despite the circumstances.

“Laxus,” I said, tears falling down my face, creating temporary warmness but fading into colder trails nearly immediately. “That I love him. He hates me now,” I nearly choked on the last part, but I was able to hold through it all.

“Hey, Laxus could never hate any of us,” Bickslow said, wrapping his arms around me gently.

“He hates me,” I sobbed into his shoulder, melting into the contact which I longed to have with Laxus instead.

“He’s probably just freaked out. You know how he can be. Ever and I have always known how you feel for him, but I'm pretty sure he struggled with it even after he knocked you up. He’ll probably be here soon to apologize,” Bickslow squeezed me tighter, which only resulted in me emitting a louder sob.

“He’ll _never_ love me though…” I knew I sounded like a heartbroken teenage girl, but I couldn’t bring myself to reason.

Bickslow released his grasp on me to say, “That’s just how the cards fall sometimes, and even though it sucks, you have to be able to deal with it. So Laxus might not have romantic feelings for you,but he’s still one of your closest comrades and you get to be around him every day. Eventually you’ll fall in love with someone who loves you back and you’ll be able to laugh over this, all the while wondering why this seemed so important to you at the time. It’s okay.” He got up after his little speech to go grab whatever he had put in the oven seeing as the timer had gone off. Despite his talk of letting go, I didn’t feel like his predictions would come to fruition. After all, it hadn’t come true for him yet, as he was still pining after a woman who was falling for someone else.

“Bix, it won’t be okay,” I continued on with my teenage girl mood, however, “I love him more than anyone else, even myself, and I know there’s no one else for me in the world. Since the moment he saved us, I’ve loved him, and my stupid mind just assumed that because we had one night together that I can’t even remember that he might love me as well.” I was hysterical to the point of yelling, despite the fact that the yelling was tearing apart my vocal cords. I longed to be wrapped in the comfort of my blankets and Laxus’s jacket once more.

Bickslow walked back out into the living room holding two plates of food. He shoved one in my fact and said, ‘Eat. Careful, it’s hot. Freed, you have to listen to me. Nearly everyone goes through rejection at some point in their life, and I'm guessing this is a first for you. It’ll get better. There’s no way Laxus hates you, and you should know that better than I do. That’s not the kind of guy he is. Now eat, because you’ll need the energy to grow that baby of yours,” Bickslow let out a more natural laugh when his babies started chanting about growing babies, and even I cracked a small smile.

“I see no way for this to get better without Laxus personally assuring me he doesn’t hate me,” I responded, taking a huge bite out of one of the pieces of pizza Bickslow had given me. “I won’t be able to eat all of this,” I said after noticing that he had given me over half of the pizza.

“If Laxus isn’t going to force you to eat to keep his baby healthy, I will, so eat up until you are stuffed to the brim. Then, after that you’re going to need to take a quick shower, because honestly you smell like shit and you need to at least look proper for your doctor’s appointment. Right babies?”

“Doctor time!” One of his dolls called out, swirling around his head this time.

“Appointment?” I asked, despite the fact that my mouth was full of pizza. I did not want to leave the house, and I knew there was no way that I was going to be able to untangle my hair in any reasonable amount of time.

“Porlyuschica wants you there as soon as possible. She was all bitchy about you missing your last appointment,” he explained, making the entire day even worse.

“I refuse to go without Laxus.” I looked him in the eye and gave him an answer worthy of a five year old.

“Freed, I will drag your ass out of this house all the way to her hut even if you do stay smelly and unkempt and then you’ll regret not listening to me when I told you to get ready.” I knew he wasn’t bluffing, as he’d forced me into doing things I desperately did not want to do before in the past as well.

“Very well,” I responded, finishing up (surprisingly) the last of the food he brought me. I must have been hungrier than I thought I was. I trudged out of the living room into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and refusing to even bother with my hair, just tying it up into a bun instead. If it was in a bun, it wouldn’t look nearly as tangled, or so I thought.

As soon as I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, Bickslow stood up, ready to go. I simply grabbed Laxus’s coat, pulling it on despite both the fact that it was most likely sweltering outside and the fact that I basically swam in it due to the size. Bickslow only offered me a slight glance, furrowing his eyebrows before he shrugged and pulled his helmet on, after which we set out.

We walked briskly to the hut in the woods, I for the fact that I wished to get it over with and him for the fact that I was walking quickly and he needed to keep pace with me. When we arrived, I simply knocked, not wanting to hesitate as that would fill me with memories of Laxus and I. Of course, I was already preoccupied with those memories despite the actions which I might have taken, so it proved fruitless in the end. I simply accepted the scolding of the old lady, but I saw Bicklsow flinch as she began to yell.

“I went all the way to Crocus to research and you didn't even care enough to make it to your appointment! What if there was some terrible side effect you desperately needed to know about? Stupid ingrates. That’s what all humans are! And where is Makarov’s grandson? He’s supposed to be here too!” Upon the mention of my Thunder God, I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes once more. He had promised to accompany me to these meetings, but now he was nowhere to be found.

“Laxus is busy or some shit today, so he couldn’t make it,” Bickslow explained poorly, rubbing my back once more in an attempt to keep my tears from spilling over.

“And what’s wrong with him?” She asked, gesturing towards my broken frame.

“He’s had a pretty shitty week. Laxus and him got in a fight and he’s got that pregnancy sickness or whatever it is pretty bad. He’s been alone all week trying to deal with things on his own, and it hasn't gone over well,” Bickslow shushed his babies before they began to make too much noise in order to not incur the wrath of the pink haired woman.

“Bix, Ever said it was morning sickness,” I responded with a small smile.

“He should’ve shown up for his appointment if all he was doing was moping at home. Lousy human,” Porlyuschia shook her head as if we were full of disappointment, causing Bickslow to snap just a little.

“Look, he would have come here had he felt well enough, but he didn’t and he still doesn’t. He doesn't need his doctor attempting to crush his spirits even more than they’ve already been crushed, dammit!”

“Why’d you have to bring this annoying one?” Porlyuschica asked me, making a point as to not respond to Bickslow.

“Because he’s my friend,” I responded dully, “What did you discover in Crocus?”

“Get inside and sit,” Porlyushica completely bulldozed over my question, instead simply barking a command at us.

I obeyed, walking in and sitting on the too-small couch once more, yet this time Bickslow was the one next to me. As I thought of the last time I was sitting on that couch, I almost began to cry again. “You okay?” Bickslow asked me, to which I simply nodded, wiping my eyes clean.

“I found a spell which most likely is what he cast on you while I was in Crocus. Basically, it impregnates anyone, male or female, with the person they love most’s child as long as they’ve had intercourse in the past week. Do you love Makarov's grandson and were the two of you together?” Porlyushica stared into my soul as she spoke, terrifying me.

“M-More than myself,” I squeaked out, embarrassed beyond all belief at the fact that I had to confess that once more, but this time to an old friend of Laxus’s grandfather, “We were together only once, but it was the day before.”

“Then we’ll assume we have the right spell. Before you go, you might want to know about one small side effect if it is cast on a male, however,” I could have sworn I saw a smile cross through her eyes as she spoke of the side effect.

“And what might that be?” I asked her.

“Once you have been pregnant for around a month, you will transform into a woman in order for the pregnancy to carry out properly. You will stay as a woman until around a month after the child has been birthed, then as long as the love which formed the child in the first place still exists - between both parents - you will change back to your original form.” I couldn’t do anything but stare at her as I attempted to process what the old lady said to me.

However, one particular detail suddenly dawned on me and I was forced to jump up and say,”Wait, did you say he has to love me too?”

“He does, now get out and don’t come back until the change has occurred!” She shooed the two of us outside, but I was mentally absent for the entire ordeal.

As soon as we were outside, I turned to Bickslow and groaned, “What am I going to do, Bix?”

“I honestly don’t know, Freed,” he mumbled, just as shocked as I was. After all, it wasn’t easy to learn that someone close to you would be swapping genders against their will.

“Am I just going to…” I trailed off, not even knowing what to say.

“We need to at least go see Laxus. He needs to know what the fuck he missed while he’s off brooding,” Bickslow said, but I didn’t want to see Laxus. He wouldn’t care. Bickslow must have sensed my change in body tone as he said that, however, as he immediately added on, “I will drag you there, Freed.”

“You’ll have to then,” I retorted, “because I refuse to go see him. He won’t care either way, and I don’t want to have to see him right now.” Despite the fact that I longed to see him, I knew that it would only end badly.

“You know he’ll care. Even if he’s acting like a little bitch over what happened, he’ll have to care if it’s about you and his kid.” Bickslow began to drag me, with help from his dolls, away from Porlyuschica’s house. We got about halfway there before I finally stopped resisting physically, but I continued to plea against it until we actually arrived at his house.

As Bickslow raised his hand to knock on the door, I snapped mine up to meet it, yanking his hand away from the door as quietly as I could. “Bix, let’s just go back,” I hissed, attempting to pull him away from the porch entirely.

“Freed, I’m sure he feels terrible about leaving you. There’s no point in turning back now after I dragged you all the way here,” Bickslow held my hand back with the wrist of his I grabbed and knocked using the other one before I could stop him. I hoped for about two seconds that Laxus was out of his house or better yet, passed out for the night, as he was impossible to wake up once he was out. It wasn’t like him to be asleep at only eight, however, so I lost hope for that one as soon as I thought it up.

“I don’t care who it is, go away,” my Thunder God’s voice floated through the door, bringing tears to my eyes.

“L-Laxus,” I couldn't bring myself to speak at louder than a normal speaking voice, “I have something important to tell you.”

“Freed?” He spoke my name quickly and immediately after I finished my sentence. It was as if he were waiting for a chance to exclaim my name as such.

“Look, just open the door,” Bickslow commanded my Thunder God as if he were a mere mortal.

“Fuck off,” Laxus retorted, causing me to wince slightly. He didn’t sound the happiest

“Oh, stop your bitching and open the damn door,” Bickslow replied, groaning as he spoke. He seemed to be at his wit’s end with the unopening doors for the day.

“No,” Laxus’s voice floated through the door once more, this time so firm I was convinced that it would become tangible.

“Why not?” Bickslow’s voice began to evolve to the level of taunts, which I knew would bring Laxus out of the house, but he’d be coming out for the wrong reasons.

“I don’t need a reason, it’s my damn house,” Laxus replied. I couldn’t help but let my thoughts drift to the fact that it felt certain that Laxus hated me.

However, instead of heading Laxus’s warning, Bickslow simply grabbed his wallet, pulled out a card, and jammed it between the door and the frame, causing the door to swing open. “Well, we’re coming in,” he said as he took a step in as if he owned the place.

“I am as well,” I added on, ensuring he knew of my entry.

“Ho-ly shit,” Bickslow called out, even letting out a slight whistle. It all sounded slightly familiar

“The hell? I told you stay out!” Laxus yelled at Bickslow, but what my mind was on was the fact that he looked worse than I had.

“Laxus?” I quietly said his name, hoping to calm him, as I could see sparks jumping off his body.

“Get _out_ ,” Laxus roared, the Sparks intensifying. He looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink the entire time I’d been holed up in my own house. There were dark bags under his eyes, which looked as if they were reddened and puffy, but I knew it couldn’t be from tears. After all, how could he be crying over the fact that he hated me?

I couldn’t help myself as I blurted out, “Laxus? Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh, yeah Freed, I’m fucking fantastic. I sure do look it, don’t I?” Laxus turned towards me suddenly to snap before stumbling backwards slightly, nearly tripping over the coffee table.

“You are fucking _plastered_ ,” Bickslow said, allowing himself a laugh almost equivalent to those which he normally emitted. I, however, refused to think it was funny.

“Yeah, real mature Bix. Laugh at me for being drunk. Laugh at me for hating myself for hurting Freed. Laugh at me for hiding here like a coward. Laugh at me for liking how he looks in my coat. Just keep on laughing,” Laxus flopped down onto the couch and picked up a glass from the coffee table, which was littered with bottles of beer along with empty bottles of much harder alcohols. There was also the glass dish in which I prepared the casserole, blackened at the bottom as he had no doubt burned it.

However, the one part of his outburst which I hung upon was the fact that he said he hated himself for hurting me. There was too much amiss in that statement. A man like him did not deserve self-loathing. But, if he was upset at himself, he couldn’t possibly hate me, right? “Y-You’re not mad at me?” I stuttered at the beginning, shuddering at my lack of clarity once I had emitted my sentence.

“Freed, to be honest, I used t think you were annoying. You were always following me around like a damn lost puppy, but then I realized that you were like my best friend or some shit. You’d never leave me despite the fact that I was quite an arrogant asshole back then,” Laxus broke down into a fit of laughter, which caused me to worry about his state, but I longed to hear where he was going with his little spiel. “Even after everything that happened, I refused to recognize the fact that you loved me like that. Then, for some weird reason, when you did that whole confession thing, it made me feel weird. I felt like I wanted to tell you I loved you too, but that wouldn’t work because I’m not gay. I’m Laxus. Those two don’t mix, ya know? I couldn’t love you, right?” He downed whatever drink he was holding and began to pour a new one, mixing a few things he had on the table, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. I was too focused on the fact that he said he couldn’t decipher his feelings for me.

Sure, he presented them to me in a terrible, roundabout way, but I was pretty sure he said he had feelings for me as well. “Y-you love me?” I eventually forced out, not trusting myself to say anything more. Laxus finished mixing his drink and downed it entirely before he answered me.

“I don know,” his words sounded slightly more slurred, “I feel like, I don know… Like, I needa be near you and then it’s all good. I freaked though. I jus can’t do this right now. Got a kid to deal with and all.” He began to try and mix another drink, but I yanked the bottle he was about to pour from out of his hand.

I needed to hear him tell me those words when he wasn’t drunk out of his mind, but first I needed to ensure he got to bed safely and didn’t seriously hurt himself with all he was drinking. “This isn’t the way to deal with this, Laxus,” I said as I held the bottle out of his reach. “My way wasn’t perfect either, but I can’t just sit here while you drink yourself to death. C’mon, let’s get you some water.” I walked into the the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water quickly, rushing it out to the man I loved - the man who might love me back - before saying to Bickslow, “We should really stay here tonight. He could hurt himself like this.”

“Sounds good to me. I planned on crashing at your place anyways,” Bickslow’s words slipped out of his mouth, but he seemed to not be entirely mentally present for it. I guess I wasn’t the only one who was moved by the words of Laxus.

“Let’s get you to bed,” I said to Laxus, pulling him by the arm towards his bedroom, but instead, he almost collapsed upon me, causing me to have to beg Bickslow for help. We managed to wrestle him into his bed, but as soon as his head hit the pillows, he was out like a light, so we didn’t manage to squeeze him under the blankets.

Bickslow and I walked quietly to the living room, where he insisted I take the guest bed instead of the couch. After he settled down, I said, “Bix, I honestly think I’m dreaming, but I don’t want to wake up.”

“Then go to sleep,” He replied, snuggling up against his little dolls. I nodded, heading off towards the room with a wide grin stretching my face. “Night Freed,” Bickslow called before going through a list and saying, “Night babies, night Laxus.” It was like he was a little kid - telling everyone in the house goodnight.

“Night Bix,” I called out, flopping onto Laxus’s guest bed once more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had this chapter almost done last night, and I contemplated posting it as is, but... It was missing the last scene at Laxus's house (It ended when they were at the door), and I couldn't bear to post this chapter without an actual happy ending. I hope you guys enjoyed this emotional roller coaster! This was a super long chapter though. Woop-diddly-doop-doop


	10. Good and Bad

By the the my eyes fluttered open the next morning, the events of the previous day seemed like an absurd dream, It seemed as if my mind had simply concocted an unusual yet happy dream in a futile attempt to cheer me up. However, I was met with a pleasant surprise as I glanced around the room and realized that I actually was in Laxus’s guest bedroom once more.

I could’t believe the fact that Laxus basically told me that he loved me. I mean, sure, he definitely wasn’t fully mentally there, and he seemed quite troubled by it, but he said that he thought he loved me too. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, getting up entirely happily for the first time in forever. As I made the bed, I briefly hoped that Laxus was awake already as well, but my hopes of talking it over with him as soon as I stepped out of the room were dashed by thoughts of reality in mere seconds. He was overwhelmingly drunk the night before, so he was no doubt hung over in the worst kind of way.

I walked out of the room, nearly on my tiptoes, to sneak into the kitchen and make breakfast. Bickslow was still sleeping on the couch, his little dolls piled up next to him, one of them wrapped up in his arms. Bickslow always had been a cuddly sleeper. It was, however, strange to see the little dolls both landed and completely still. As I snuck into the kitchen, which was easily visible from the living room, as there was only half a wall between them (There was no real door, only an entryway, and even more of that wall was taken away by a bar of sorts which was basically a window between the kitchen and living room.), I heard Bickslow stirring.

“You’re up early,” he mumbled, not even opening his eyes as he spoke.

“Aren’t I always?” I replied gently, more to myself than the half-asleep man on the couch.

However, he wasn’t nearly fully asleep for long, seeing as he sat up, stretched, and promptly yawned. He was careful not to knock any of his dolls off the couch, scooting around them gently before saying, “You want me to go check on Laxus??” He began to gently rub his eyes as the dolls animated around him.

“No,” I immediately blurted out, causing Bickslow to flinch slightly. “I’ll go check on him.” I knew he’d simply be sleeping, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to lay eyes on the man I was so in love with after over a week of missing him.

“I guess you would want to, after last night’s development,” Bickslow laughed a little, his dolls relishing in his happiness.

“Very good!” They squealed, swirling around the two of us.

“It’s impossible for me to really recognize as the truth despite the fact that I heard it with my own ears,” I responded, smiling broadly as I walked down the hall to Laxus’s room. Sure enough, he was still asleep. In his sleep, he managed to spread out and cover the entire bed as well as tangle his legs up poorly in the blankets. Despite all that, he still looked peaceful in his sleep.

When I walked back out into the living room, Bickslow was resting his face in his hands. Upon my entry, he raised it up quickly, and asked, “He still sleeping?” His words were mumbled, however, and clouded over by sleep.

“Indeed,” I replied, smiling once more at the thought of my Thunder God.

“Makes sense. He was pretty damn plastered.” Bickslow laughed after his words, but even his laugh seemed tired. I was beginning to feel guilty, as it was obvious that he was only awake in order to keep me company.

That wasn’t the only thing I felt guilty about, however. “He could have hurt himself,” I replied, “And it would have been my fault.”

“Don’t think like that. If he hurt himself, it would have been his fault for throwing a fit like he did, but he’s fine and your situation seems to be more than fine, if you know what I mean,” Bickslow let out a naturally loud laugh afterwards, washing away most of my guilt for keeping him up

“It isn’t quite like that yet,” I replied, blushing furiously at the thought of what Bickslow might be implying.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bickslow said in response, shaking his head gently, “Wanna help me make some breakfast?”

“Of course,” I responded, leading the way into the kitchen. I began to shuffle through the fridge, pulling out a half full carton of eggs, some cheese, and some milk, effectively emptying his fridge in the process. He didn’t seem to have stocked up on anything other than frozen food during his week and a half alone.

“Is that all he has?” Bickslow called out from begin me as I heard footsteps enter the kitchen. I turned around to find him dressed in a dingy pink and white striped apron which looked strangely familiar. “Check out what I found in one of Laxus’s drawers when I made that soup the other night. _Sexy_ , isn’t it?” He waggled his eyebrows a bit before tacking on, “He denied that it was his. He was embarrassed of the fact the he even owned it.” As Bickslow was cackling, I realized just why that apron looked so familiar. Sure, it was a lot dirtier than when I lost it, and there were even a few burnt patches on it, but it was still mine.

“I lost that a over a year ago,” I said in response, furrowing my eyebrows. Why would Laxus keep it, and obviously fail to cook using it, for so long?

“How sweet,” Bickslow replied, setting instantly to work on making a couple of omelettes. Despite the fact that I had agreed to help cook breakfast, there wasn't really much I could do to help and ended up simply brewing a pot of coffee and then cleaning up Laxus’s empty bottles and other miscellaneous mess from the living room. As I cleaned, I was grateful that Bickslow had volunteered to sleep on the couch, as I would not have been able to sleep with such a mess in the same room as me. Laxus must have been living as if he were a wild animal, because his house was absolutely littered with wrappers and bottles.

Bickslow soon finished his cooking, around the same time I settled down after finishing my cleaning, and we ate breakfast together. He flipped on Laxus’s Lacrima-vision, turning on some idle news show as we talked and ate. This continued far past breakfast, into the afternoon. We took turns checking up on Laxus - in all reality, we agreed to take turns and I took every single one - but he was still out like a light.

Sometime around one in the afternoon, however, I had gotten up to use the restroom and right when I was about to open the door to go back to the living room, I heard heavy footsteps trudge past it. I cracked the door open quietly just in time to hear my Thunder God bellow, “Why the hell are you in my house?” I tiptoed behind him quietly, standing a few feet behind him in the entrance to the living room.

Bickslow laughed and said, “Well if you’re upset to see me, I suggest you don’t turn around.” I mentally cursed Bickslow for alerting Laxus of my presence so abruptly. I wasn’t ready to face him!

Laxus spun around, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me, but then instead of the happiness I saw in them initially, I was met with disgust. “Why are _you_ here?” He curled his lip into a sneer as he spoke, causing me to shy away from him gently. I took a few steps back, attempting desperately to remind myself of the fact that there was no way he could remember spilling his feelings to me, as he had been drunker than drunk the night before. It still felt like he hated me though. It felt as if I truly _had_ dreamt up the night before.

The first thing that my mind allowed me to say was, “Bix made you breakfast.”

He responded by yelling, “Why?! Why the hell are you two even in my house?” His voice rang out across the house. I didn’t dare take even a loud breath, seeing the fact that his body was tensed up and there were gentle sparks flying off his body.

“Bickslow dragged me to your house last night after we received a disconcerting piece of news from Porlyushica. We assumed you’d want to know, but when we arrived, you were very far past the level at which one can be considered ‘intoxicated.’ In an attempt to help, we ended up cutting you off, sending you to bed, and staying the night,” I launched into explanation mode, hoping to soothe him back below the sparking threshold.

“You also told Freed that--”

“Bickslow!” I exclaimed, “Quiet, now!”

Laxus cringed as I yelled out, immediately yelling in return, “Dammit, stop screaming. I have a fucking headache!” I chuckled slightly, seeing as he felt the need to quiet us, but not himself. Despite what I considered to be great hypocrisy, I simply bowed my head and apologized. I wished to please the God which I worshipped, after all. “Why don’t you two just get the hell out entirely. I’m not in a company mood right now. Especially not _his_ company,” he looked down at me as he looked at the regular members of Fairy Tail around the beginning of the Battle of Fairy Tail. I began to once more feel my eyes clouding up with possible tears.

“Oh, quit your bitching and get your breakfast from the kitchen,” Bickslow replied after seeing how lost for words I was in the face of Laxus’s harsh treatment. “Then, you’re going to sit down and we’re going to have a yelling free conversation.”

“And what in the hell makes you think I’m going to take orders from you?” He challenged in return, sparks flying off of his body as he took a step closer to Bickslow.

Bickslow simply stood his ground, however, and calmly said, “Laxus, I don’t care how confused you are about you and little Freedie, just eat the damn omelette and listen to what Freed and I have to say.” Laxus slowly stopped sparking as his face grew redder and redder.

“W-what do you m-mean?” He sputtered his words out as if they were the foulest tasting thing in Fiore.

“You know damn well what I mean,” Bickslow replied, looking him as close to straight in the eye as he would look at anyone without his helmet. “The food’s in the microwave.”

Laxus huffed and rolled his eyes as if Bickslow were bluffing, but he still trudged into the kitchen, grabbed his omelette and flopped down onto his armchair as if he wasn’t informed that he had spilled possibly his greatest secret.

“Okay, get to talking so you can get _him_ out of my house,” Laxus said, staring directly at Bickslow, only nodding towards my direction upon mention of me. He tossed his already empty plate onto the freshly cleaned coffee table. It began to cross my mind that he truly didn’t want to look at me. That part didn’t have to be an act. As I sunk further into that thought, (He hates me, my thoughts screamed) I felt those tears from before culminating at the brink of my eyelids. He probably wanted to forget about the fact that he even knew me. He would never be able to accept the fact that he loved me, despite what he said he felt when he was drunk. That thought pushed me over the edge, which pushed the tears over the edge of my eyes. I felt the pain course through my veins, causing me to once more heave with the power of a silent sob.

“Freed?” Bickslow sat down beside me, waving his hand in front of my face gently. I guess I hadn’t been answering them in my moment of weakness. Well, answering Bickslow that is. I doubted Laxus would speak to me due to the current state of events. “Are you okay?”

I quickly wiped away my tears, stifling them the best I could. “My emotions seem to be running wild. I believe it must be a part of the hormones which were added to my body.” I kept my voice steady as I spoke, but I refused to look anywhere but the floor.

“What did you two need to tell me?” Laxus simply tried to change the subject back to business, seemingly unphased by my outburst. His voice, did, however, have a sharper edge to it as his body grew more tense. I began to cry again, seeing as Laxus couldn't care less for me.

“You sure you’re okay?” Bickslow asked, patting my back gently before turning to Laxus and hissing, “Be nice,” at him.

“Well why the hell is he even crying?” Laxus threw his hands up in the air and got out of his chair to pace as he spoke. “It’s not like I did anything to him.”

“Dammit Laxus,” Bickslow yelled, causing the larger man to flinch, “Stop being such an asshole to Freed. You don't have to make him feel like shit just because you can’t accept the fact that you’re gay!”

Laxus stopped in his pacing to take a few steps towards Bickslow. He was no longer simply sparking. Instead, he was causing massive power fluctuations in the house as huge streaks of lightning jumped off his body and into the metal parts of his furniture (Which he had grounded for just these circumstances). “Get. The. Hell. Out.” He barely even raised his voice above a whisper. It was as if it were the calm before the Thunderstorm which was likely to approach.

“Oh, grow up,” Bickslow replied, circling around Laxus with his hands up, ready to defend himself if need be. His dolls were zooming around wildly about the room, agitated by the tension which was growing thicker and thicker. “This is about your fucking kid, Laxus. Are you really so pitiful as to ditch not only one of your closest allies but also your child over something as stupid as this? So much for you being the honorable God of our Thunder Legion,” Bickslow spoke calmly, using his words as his weapons instead of his body. He knew there was no way he could win against the man we as the Thunder Legion idolized, yet he still stood strong in the face of the thunder which was clashing through the room.

Laxus’s fists began to spark as he prepared to fight. I could see his muscles growing taut under his shirt. He was no longer simply messing around. I refused to let either of them get hurt over my mistakes, “Stop fighting!” I yelled, but both of them were too intent on focusing on the other to even acknowledge it. I jumped up, hoping to diffuse the tension before it got too far, but instead I simply jumped between them at the worst possible time. The second I got between them, Laxus hooked his right hand as hard as he could and hit me square in the side of my head. The last thing I saw as I fell to the ground was his face instantly filled with the realization of what he had done, blurred by my loss of consciousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez, this chapter even hurt me to write. However, if you just focus on the happy parts, it's marginally okay. Heh, the only really happy part to me is the damn apron, I mean, really. How sweet is it that he kept it for so long? He even tried to cook, but we all know that he's hopeless in the kitchen :( I swear things will get better eventually. Make sure to drop a comment below to let me know you're enjoying the story! The comments are honestly what fuel me to write.


	11. Concussions

I couldn’t tell where I was when I blinked my eyes open. The world was a blur of colors and sounds, none of them quite standing out against each other until I heard a familiar voice yell, “Dammit, look what you did now!” I attempted to turn my head towards whoever was yelling, but it turned out moving made the blur of the world zoom by in a way which accentuated the sudden pain I was feeling in my head.

Something solid grasped my shoulders, causing me to be hyper-aware of them. I could be in danger. I struggled to hone in on my surroundings, feeling something solid against my back and someone’s hands gently shaking me. I did, however, have to force my eyes shut, lest the world push me to nausea. The concept of nausea seemed almost too familiar, for a reason which I could not remember. The entire world seemed foggy even in my memory. I couldn’t place my finger on how I arrived at my current situation.

“Freed?” A voice which seemingly pulled my heart into overdrive spoke, causing me to force my eyes open. I was rewarded by the sight of my Thunder God leaning over me. My body let out the tension I did not realize I was holding in. If I was with him, I couldn’t be in danger.

“Yes?” My voice strangely sounded as if it were miles away. My left ear was ringing drastically for some unknown reason.

“Are you feeling okay?” As he leaned closer, I could see that instead of the smiling face I hoped to see, I saw a solemn face creased with lines of concern. He turned off to the side, quietly speaking a sentence or two which did not make it into my ringing ear.

“My head is…” I struggled to think of what word was supposed to come next in my sentence. What was the word I was looking for? I eventually settled on just adding on, “Pain. It’s pain.” Something felt off, but I didn’t know what.

I saw another blob of color approach from out of my field of vision, which seemed to be seriously impaired. As it stilled, I saw it was simply Bickslow approaching. “Take this,” his words sounded as if he were speaking to me telepathically. Both far away but too close at the same time. “It’ll help with your headache.” He knelt down beside me and I felt something freezing cold press against my head. “Ice will help it not swell up.” His voice had an edge to it which I could not identify. He kept glancing at me then moving his head to look over at Laxus, not even the slightest trace of his laughs or tongue present. I was starting to think he was an imposter, trying to kill me.  
  
“What happened?” I struggled to move my hand to support the ice myself, but my arm felt as if it were made of led. My entire body felt heavy. I couldn’t even move enough to sit up, so instead I simply lay there looking up at the distant ceiling. It was actually sort of funny, that I was lying there on the floor.

“Laxus accidentally punched you,” Bickslow said his words softly, but he laced the word accidentally with too much emphasis. He held the ice to the left side of my head firmly while holding the other side of my head as well, so I couldn’t turn it. “Be still. You shouldn’t move around too much right now.”

“Why ya punch me?” I looked up at the blonde above me, hoping to coerce him to tell me what was wrong by sticking my bottom lip out and pouting.

Laxus looked down at me and raised an eyebrow to ask, “What in the hell are you doing?”

“Tryin ta figure out why he hit me,” I replied. Something felt off with my words, but I simply could not figure it out. Maybe I’d ask the guys after they told me what was up.

“He hit you because he was trying to hit me,” Bickslow explained, sliding an arm under my body. “Let’s get you onto the couch.”

“Laxus wouldn’t hit you,” I corrected Bickslow. It was sort of funny how he actually thought Laxus's would hit him. I let out a small laugh as I thought of how funny it was. Bickslow was quite the card sometimes!

“He hit me becau-” Bickslow started talking, but when he picked me up to move me to the couch, I couldn’t help but let out a squeal of joy.

“Weeee! This is fun!’ It was like a ride!

“Ohhh-kay,” Bickslow said, laughing as he laid me down on the couch. I wished it was Laxus who had picked me up. Then I could have leaned into him and hugged him. I was about to tell Bickslow how I thought he should put me back on the floor and ask Laxus to help me to the couch, but Bickslow ever so rudely interrupted my thoughts by saying, “He hit me because I told him to stop being an ass and lashing out at you because--”

“Enough!” Laxus growled his words and then mumbled, “We should take him to the lady. He’s prob’ly got a concussion.”

I couldn't’ contain my laughter when I thought of how unclear Laxus always spoke his words.It was hilarious. “You should speak clearly,” I forced out in between gasps for air.

“Umm, yeah,” Bickslow replied, staring down at me through his mask. It was even more funny now that he was standing over me. It was like instead of a ceiling there was a Bickslow. I tried to explain that notion to them, but instead I was met with Laxus squinting his eyes slightly at me and Bickslow sighing and saying, “Yeah, there’s definitely _something_ wrong with him.” It was kind of strange that Bickslow wasn't’ laughing with me. Normally he laughed at everything too.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Laxus walked over and looked down at me to ask me a stupidly absurd question.

Or… Wait… What was the last thing I could remember? I remembered waking up in the hospital. I remembered learning that Laxus was my child’s father. I remembered telling the aster and collapsing in front of the guild. I remembered Laus walking me home. I remembered something or another happening at the end of our walk home, and I remembered something bout sitting at home, but it all seemed fuzzy. I ended up settling on telling Laxus that the last thing I fully remembered was eating soup for dinner at his house. Wait… I was at his house again. How did I get there again?

“What have you been doing for the past week?” Bickslow sat down on the couch by my feet, pushing them into the back of the couch. It tickled a little, so I couldn’t help but start laughing again. Laughing, that is, until I actually thought about Bickslow’s question.

“I don’t know…” I said quietly, feeling tears beg to fall from my eyes for some reason. “I think I’ve just been at home.”

“Shh, it’s all okay now,” Bickslow said, patting my feet as he stood up. “Let’s get him to the doctor.”

I didn’t want to go to the doctor though. She was scary. I didn’t like scary people. They scared me. I explained that to the two of my friends, but Bickslow simply told me, “Tough luck, thanks to Laxus, you gotta go see her again.”

I begged Laxs to let me stay home and lay down instead, but he simply stared at me for a few seconds and then said, “Can you stand?”

When he said that, I realized that I was still laying down while the other two were standing over me. I started laughing again. It was funny that I wasn’t standing up for some reason. “Guys, I’m laying down,” I said, cracking up laughing.

“Yes, you are,” Bickslow replied, finally laughing alongside me. “Can you stand?”

“Umm, of _course_ I can stand Bix,” I said, laughing at the fact that he thought I couldn’t stand. I sat up, swung my legs off the couch, and stood up, saying, “See? I’m standing.”

“Then let’s go,” Laxus said, walking towards the door. I started walking after him, because I wanted to be with him wherever he went, but somehow I started looking at the ceiling again.

“Guys, look at the ceiling,” I said, laughing. Laxus had popcorn ceilings. Popcorn! What a silly little name for such an ugly type of ceiling.

“Freed, get back up,” Laxus snapped at me, causing me to instantly stop laughing. Nothing was funny when my Thunder God thought it was frustrating.

“Help me up,” I pleaded with him, holding out my hand and grabbing at the air.

He reached out and took my hand to help me up, but for some reason when I pulled on his arm to get up, instead of me getting up, he got pulled closer to me. “Dammit, Freed,” he mumbled, yanking my arm a little too hard to simply be helping me up. Once I was on my feet, he tossed me hand to the side a little too quickly, causing me to stumble into Bickslow. “Bickslow, if he can’t even walk, how the hell are we supposed to get him there?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Bickslow replied, cackling as usual, despite the slight anger in his voice. He was so funny that I simply couldn’t help breaking down into another laughing fit.

“Bickslow, I can walk. Walking is easy peasy. Just a step further than standing, in fact. Why wouldn’t I be able to walk?” Laxus and Bix were being so silly, insisting that I didn’t know how to stand or walk. I could out-walk either of them any day of my life.

“Yeah yeah,” Bickslow replied, “C’mon.” He took my arm and pulled it over his neck, snaking one of his arms around to rest on my waist, pulling me closer to him.

“Bix, what are you doing? You _know_ that I like Laxus.” Bickslow was being so weird. Why was he trying to flirt with me when he knew I’d always loved Laxus?

“Calm down,” Bickslow said, laughing rudely at me. I didn't see why he needed to laugh at me for something which was obviously strange. “I’m just helping you walk.”

“Suuuure,” I said, squinting my eyes at him as I attempted to pull his arm off my side. He wouldn’t let me though, how rude! However, when I was pulling on his hand, I felt myself nearly falling forwards once more. The only reason I didn’t was because Bix caught me. It was strange, I seemed to be falling a-- It suddenly dawned on me just why Bickslow was trying to support me. How funny.

“A little help would be appreciated,” Bicklsow said, turning towards the man I loved.

Laxus began to blush as he sputtered, “I-I don’t want his arm on me like that.”

“Oh, grow up and get over it,” Bickslow yelled, causing me to wince. Yelling made my head hurt. “He’s falling again. Just help, dammit, you were the one who punched him.”

“Why’d you punch me?” I asked Laxus, squirming out of Bickslow’s grasp to fall up against Laxus’s chest.

“Freed, we already went over this,” Laxus responded, reluctantly grabbing my arm and looping it around his side as Bickslow did the same to reclaim me. “I was trying to punch Bickslow.”

“Why was that again?” I asked, leaning more towards Laxus than Bix. I couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Laxus said, blushing a little. His blush didn’t last for too long, however, as before I could answer, he snapped, “Can’t we hurry up and get him to the doctor?”

“Don’t get all pissy again,” Bickslow said, “We can’t really speed this up or we’d be dragging him down the street.” His little dolls kept repeating his words in their funny little voices.

I started laughing at the thought of them dragging me down the street, but my joy was once more curdled by Laxus glaring at me and saying, “What is so funny?”

I didn’t answer, and simply stared at him for a few seconds, until Bickslow said, “Just carry him,” to Laxus. It sounded like a great idea! I wanted to be carried by him. “Although I don’t know how you’re going to handle holding him if you couldn't even handle this contact.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Laxus snapped, “I can carry him just fine. It is for the best, after all.” I began to grow confused again. Why were they going to carry me?

“Well what would be best would be if you hadn’t of hit him at all. Maybe if you just faced your feelings for him instead of throwing a temper tantrum, then this wouldn’t have happened.” Bickslow was talking crazy talk. Laxus wouldn’t punch me. He also wouldn’t have feelings for me that he’d have to hide.

“Whatever,” Laxus huffed, stopping to pick me up bridal style. “I already know I fucked up. You don’t need to rub it in my face.”

“Well _you_ don’t have to act like you’re too good to have feelings for Freed.” Bickslow began to practically jog alongside of us due to the speed at which Laxus was walking. It was almost as if we were rushing someplace.

“Laxus?” I called his name after he had ignored Bickslow for a few seconds. I wanted to know where we were going.  
  
Bickslow’s babies swooping around my head distracted me though, so when he asked what I needed, I simply said, “Thanks for carrying me. You’re warm and smell nice,” I mumbled my words for once, burying my face in his chest. It felt secure and cozy enough to take a nap. As soon as I was about to drift off though, I heard some loud bangs and Bickslow began to yell something or another about an emergency.

The pink haired lady came out of the house, yelling until she saw me. She barked orders at Laxus for him to take me inside and lay me on the bed she had set up in the back room. They all spoke for a while until she said she had to run some tests on my brain. She put her hands on either side of my head, tickling me a little bit. I laughed for a split second, but her glares were even scarier than Laxus’s. After she was done, she asked me a series of strange questions, like who I was, what magic I used, where I lived, and how I got hurt. Since I’m so smart, I knew all of them but the last one.

“He just has a concussion,” she said to Laxus and Bickslow. I wondered who they were talking about until I realized it was me. “He’ll be fine if he rests for a while. For the first week, you need to wake him up in the middle of the night once each night and make sure his pupils aren’t dilated. If they are, bring him here. Don’t let him do anything strenuous for a couple weeks. No reading for long amounts of time, no missions, no flashing lights, overly loud noises, or crowded places, so keep him away from the guild for at least a week, got it?”

“Yeah, got it. He can just stay with me for the week then,” Laxus said, causing me to smile as I thought of a week of living with him.

“Most importantly, you two,” she pointed at Bicklsow and Laxus, “Sort out your problems with words instead of punching the pregnant one.

Laxus came over to pick me back up when Porlyushica tacked on, “It’s been almost a month since he got pregnant, so the change will probably happen this week. Don’t let him get too worked up about it or it could stress his brain more.” When she said that, the visit from the’ day before came rushing into my mind. It hit me like freight train. I was going to be a girl.

Laxus didn’t know though, so he simply asked, “What change?”

“When he’s going to change into a girl, remember? Now get out! I have work to do!” She attempted to usher him to pick me up and get going, but he was too dazed to move.

“Freed is going to be a what?” He spoke his words as if he knew the answer even though he formed them as a question. He kept staring at me as if his whole world were being turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate this one lol. It felt boring, save for the fact that Freed was so funny because of the concussion. The next one will (Hopefully) be a lot less boring. Thanks for reading and make sure to drop a comment here if there's anything you want to say!


	12. Tears and Fingers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and sweet, so I hope you guys enjoy it!

“Why did no one tell me this?” Laxus asked after a few seconds. His words would have been too quiet to hear if we were at the guild, but they were just loud enough to be heard in the quiet hut.

“I think I was going to see you to tell you, but something happened,” I furrowed my brow in concentration, struggling to remember what caused me to not tell him, but when my head started hurting, I settled on saying, “Surprise!” I couldn’t hold in a small giggle afterwards. It was like a surprise party, except instead of a birthday, it was a surprise sex change.

However, to my dismay, I was not met with reciprocated laughter from both men. Instead, Bickslow burst out laughing and Laxus simply stared at me as if I were losing my mind. Maybe I was. “What’s going to happen, _exactly_? How long is he going to be a- a… How long is he going to be changed for?”

“Get _them_ to explain it to you. I have too much that I need to be doing to just sit around explaining the same thing constantly. If you didn’t go around punching people, then maybe you’d already know. Now get out,” Porlyushica shooed him towards the door as if he were a wild animal which had wandered in. It was pretty laughable. I didn’t laugh though, because I knew it might set off Laxus.

“I’ll explain at home, just grab Freed and let’s get going,” Bickslow said, laughing a little more after he spoke. It was nice seeing him laughing too. At least I wasn’t alone. Everything really _was_ funny after all.

After all that, Laxus still almost walked off without me, and I had to make grabby hands in the air and call his name to get him to notice me. “Laaaaxus,” I stretched out his name to draw his attention. “Pick meeeee uuuup.”

When he turned around, he actually had a glimpse of a smile on his face instead of the grumpy demeanor he had been displaying as of late. “You sound like a little kid,” he said as he lifted me up bridal style once more.

Once I was sung in his arms, I felt a desperate longing to close my eyes and let the movement of my Thunder God walking lull me to sleep. “Can I sleep now?” I asked, nuzzling my face into his chest, which smelled wonderfully of my Thunder God.

“You need rest,” was his only response. With my head pressed against his chest like a pillow, I could hear his heart begin to beat faster. It was strange, and slightly funny, because I was the one who liked him, right? So why would he be getting worked up. I glanced up at his face as he started walking out the door, and sure enough it was just lightly dusted pink.

“Why are you getting so embarrassed?” I spoke my words quietly but clearly into his chest, which acted as a muffler of sorts.

“Freed, I can’t believe he hit you so hard that you forgot about the best thing that’s happened to you in quite some time.” Bicklsow laughed a little afterwards, his words light instead of heavy and aimed at Laxus.

“He’s embarrassed because he got me pregnant?” I asked, giggling quite a lot afterwards. Laxus was so silly, getting flustered over something that we couldn’t even remember. “Bix, I remember that that happened because I know there’s a kid inside of me, silly.” I felt the need to explain to Bickslow that knowing I was pregnant meant knowing that Laxus and I spent a night together.

“Did you seriously just call me silly? That’s more than a little unsettling coming from you. I wasn’t talking about you two lovebirds fucking though. I was talking about the fact that Laxus--”

“Bickslow, I’m getting pretty damn tired of fighting with you, so just shut up,” I felt his grip tighten on me and his pace increased, causing Bickslow to have to walk much faster to keep up with us. However, I didn’t want him to speed up because I wanted to know what happened that was better than the fact that I was starting a family with Laxus.

“I wanna hear thoooouugh,” I said, pressing the side of my head into a Laxus’s chest as I pleaded with him.

“You’ll remember soon, just get some rest,” Laxus responded, or rather commanded.

I struggled for a few seconds to think of a way to get him to tell me, and eventually landed on possibly the cruelest sentence I could say to him, but I felt like it was a foolproof plan to get answers. “But what if I never ‘member. Then you’ll hate yourself f’ever for takin it away from me,” I tried to stay composed, but I felt my consciousness fading even as I spoke.

When he didn’t answer for a little, I looked up at him to see what was taking so long. I thought I could see tears beginning to collect in his eyes, but before I could ask, he said, “Don’t you even joke about that dammit. You’ll remember.” His voice shook slightly as the tears collected more, but didn’t fall.

“I was joking,” I tried to calm him down by explaining that I wasn’t serious, but it didn’t seem to be working.

I thought it might be a good idea o help by wiping the tears out of his eyes, since his hands were reserved for holding me up, but I guess I must have had bad aim, because he flinched immediately when I raised my finger to wipe his eye. In fact, I felt an arm flinch and nearly release me to reach for his eye before he exclaimed, “Dammit Freed, don’t stick your fingers in my eyes!”

“Sorry. I was just trying to get the tears off your eyes since I made you cry,” I explained, causing his body to stiffen up.

“I wasn’t crying,” Laxus said, his words cold and calculating. It reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t place my finger on who it was.

“You were,” I said, giggling the tiniest bit at the thought guy act he was putting on. “I saw it. You cried. In fact, you haven’t even wiped your eyes. I can still see you crying.”

“Dammit, I’m not crying and if there’s tears in my eye, it’s because you stabbed me in the eye with your finger.” He insisted on acting like he was too good to cry.

“Laxus, when I was crying, I didn’t try to pretend like I was too manly for tears. Don’t be embarrassed.” He was so silly, getting embarrassed over something so silly. Such silliness.

“Stop,” he commanded. None of us said anything for a few seconds, then Laxus added on with a snap, “You didn’t act like you were too manly because you aren’t too manly. You’re pregnant for goodness sakes and apparently you’re about to be a woman too.” It took my mind a few seconds to process that what he said wasn’t funny, but once I did, I was terribly offended.

“Let me down,” I said, squirming to stand on my own feet. I didn’t care that I couldn’t walk, I simply didn’t want to be in the arms of someone who so blatantly insulted me. I would still be a man even when I was a woman. (Even if I ended up always being a woman)

“Why? What’s wrong?” Laxus sounded genuinely confused, which only made me want down even more.

“You’re insulting me,” I explained, with nary a hint of my previously prevalent laughter. “Let me down.”

“You can’t even walk right now, I’m not letting you down,” he tightened his grip on me to ensure I didn’t fall, yet he didn’t offer up even a shred of an apology.

“Well it’s your fault I can’t walk,” I snapped, “Let Bickslow carry me. He won’t insult me. He’ll tease me, but he won’t insult me.” I couldn’t believe that Laxus would say such things to me after all our years together.

“Freed, I can’t carry you all the what there,” Bickslow said, gently patting my back. “You’re as big as I am.”

“Then help me walk,” I said, struggling to free myself of Laxus’s grip. As nice as it was to be swaddled in his arms and be enveloped in his scent, I wanted him to know that he was being a meanie.

“Freed…” The man who was holding me mumbled my name as he tightened his grip, “Please stop struggling… If you fall you could get a lot more hurt, or the kid might get hurt. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I dropped you, okay?” I looked up at him, immediately stopping struggling as I felt our motion come to a close save for a few shakes of his body. “I’ve been a jerk recently, but I still care about you…” He didn’t even try to hide the fact that tears were trickling down his face that time. It was kind of sweet. “I’m so sorry Freed… I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s okay,” I said, nuzzling into his chest gently. “Hey Laxus?” I grabbed his attention when we started walking again, praying that the quiet man next to us stayed quiet long enough for me a carry out a secret plan.

“Yeah?” His voice was clear now, without the cloudiness of tears, but there were still tears tarnishing his perfect eyes.

“Stop for a second,” I said, and our walk came to a standstill once more. Once we were completely still, I reached my hand up to his face once more, this time succeeding in wiping away his tears without stabbing him in the eye. It felt strangely fulfilling to not poke his eye out. “Proceed,” I whispered into his chest once his face was dry.

“Well ain’t that just adorable,” Bickslow finally spoke up next to us, letting out a laugh which he had no doubt been holding in for the entirety of Laxus and I’s make-up.

“You’re pushing it,” Laxus said in response, but with a slight smile gracing his face instead of venom lacing his words.

“I’m going to go to sleep now,” I said as Bickslow waved Laxus off.

“Sleep well Freed,” Bickslow said in response, his little dolls swirling around Laxus and I.

“Thanks guys,” I mumbled my words again, drifting off gently into the abyss of sleep which called to me evermore.


	13. The Middle of the Night

I was pulled from my rest by a pair of strong hands softly grabbing my shoulders. My mind was cloudy, but my vision was clear. I couldn’t remember how I got to be lying in bed seeing as the last thing I remembered was leaving my house with Bickslow to go see Porlyuschica. I really hoped she didn’t give me some sort of crazy drug. I should have just gone to the hospital the other doctor wanted me to go to.

I looked around frantically, unable to see much at all due to the low light levels. The room felt familiar, but I couldn’t tell how, seeing as I couldn't see it. I reached my hands up to pull the larger hands off my shoulders, boldly asking, “What is going on?”

All my worries were washed away with I was met with a confident chuckle and the words, “You already forgot, didn’t you?” Spoken by my Thunder God. “I gotta check your eyes every night.” I hadn’t the slightest clue why he needed to check my eyes, but I saw his falter from my own ever so slightly as he spoke, so I knew something must have been wrong with me. That would also explain the blank spot in my memory that was driving me insane.

No matter how much his care soothed my heart, however, my brain fought back. Laxus was all I needed to be happy, but answers were what I needed to be comfortable.”What is reason for which you are checking my eyes?”

“I’m going to have to explain this to you a thousand times, aren’t I?” Laxus's voice was laced with a tone which I could not decipher. In my mind, it should have been frustration, to match the words, but the slight laugh he gave off afterwards convinced me otherwise. It was very peculiar.

“I don’t recall any previous attempts at explanation,” I couldn’t help but keep my guard up and continue talking formally. For some reason, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something was simply… _off_.

“This is going to sound bad, but I accidentally punched you in the side of your head and gave you a concussion. You also seem to have some memory loss, which although charming at times, has caused me to have to explain to you multiple times that I hurt you,” Laxus kept his voices steady, but his eyes faltered away from my own ever so slightly, and he even flinched away from me slightly.

“That sounds like quite the interesting story. Want to tell me what happ--” In the middle of my sentence, it all came rushing back to me. What seemed off was the fact that Laxus had straight up abandoned me and my - our - child after I confessed to him the last time I saw him. He briskly walked off into the night, ignoring my pleas for forgiveness after my confession left him speechless. I hadn’t the foggiest idea how my memories f that night didn’t resurface earlier, especially since I recalled going to Porlyushica’s with Bix instead of Laxus. Laxus was probably only tolerating my presence because he knew he had hurt me both physically and mentally. He abandoned me. He hated me. The simple thought of that night sent me back into the sobs which I had relished in for over a week alone.

“Freed?” Laxus’s voice rang out tense and frightened, but I knew it was all a lie. “Are you okay? Freed! Answer me, what’s wrong?” The man I loved - the man who abandoned me - looked around wildly, as if something would appear out of nowhere to help him. He probably longed for something else simply so he didn’t have to sit next to me and listen to me sob. He didn’t want to be checking my eyes in the night, he simply felt obligated to because he knocked me up. His false kindness was all for the being growing inside of me, not for me myself. If not for that fetus, he would never have even allowed me to be near him after that appalling confession.

I had to correct the direction of things. I refused to continue siting there in a bed in his guest room pretending that his wall of false kindness was completely believable and acceptable. It was simply there to help me heal faster. I longed to tell him that I knew what he was doing, but whenever I tried to speak words, my body simply acted like Bickslow’s after he heard I was pregnant - I could move my mouth but no words would come out. The only things that echoed through the room were my loud sobs.

“Freed… Just tell me what’s wrong… I need to help,” Laxus pleaded with me, despite the fact that his care was a farce. His eyes began to brim with tears which begged to be released - tears which nearly fooled me, but I knew he couldn’t care about me after he so nonchalantly abandoned me for over a week.

“Why do you pretend…?” I finally managed to mumble. I hated myself for not being able to form a proper sentence. I hated myself for mumbling my words. I needed to speak up for myself, both in volume and in composure. However, as I was busy hating myself and angering at Laxus for abandoning me, he responded with a world ending gesture. As I felt his warm arms envelop me, the pain all melted away. My sobs weakened until they were merely tears running gently down my face. My doubts were sucked out of my body as if by magic and my mind was suddenly able to function properly again.

“Freed, I haven’t got the slightest clue what you mean, but I’m not pretending. I’m not pretending to care. I’m not pretending to worry. I’m not pretending to have feelings. I don’t know what you think I’m pretending, but I’m not, okay?” I couldn't see his face, since I was pressed sideways against his chest, but I could feel his heart beating against my cheek and I could see the room lightning up ever so slightly from the slight sparks emitting from his body. He seemed to be feeling rather embarrassed, judging by the speed of his heart and the gentle sparks.

“You left me…” I couldn’t help but mumble the words that I longed to get an answer to. Why was he nursing me back to health if he had abandoned me previously?

“I know I did, Freed, but I never will again. It was a mistake. I was stupid and foolish. I just need you to forgive me, no matter how long it takes,” He spoke his words clearly, still clinging to me as if I were a lifeline. His words made my heart beat a mile a minute. Laxus cared about me still. He hadn’t fully abandoned me after all. He might never love me, but he would care about me and he would definitely love the kid we were having together. With his arms wrapped around me, all I could feel was bliss. All of the anger inside of me was washed away and all of the sadness was purged by his pure sweetness. This was simply the essence of the man I fell in love with squished into one physical action.

After what seemed like hours of thinking, but was in reality at most a minute, I finally devised a sentence to say which would clear up the situation rather tightly. “Laxus, I am incredibly sorry that I doubted our friendship over something as such.”

“Freed, don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault, just get some sleep because I _need_ you to feel better, and the doctor lady said that you ain’t getting better without sleep.” Laxus's voice faltered ever so slightly when he mentioned that I _needed_ to get better, but I blamed that on the fact that he blamed himself for hitting me, despite the fact that he explained it as an accident. Typical Laxus, trying to create blame for himself.

“Thank you so much for caring about me…” I mumbled, not wanting to break the hug which was still loosely being carried on. “It means the world to me, and I’m glad we can continue it even after my horribly timed confession.” I longed to make things right, but I knew that I had only made it worse when he pulled away fromt the hug after my sentence.

I was just about ready to let the sobs overtake me again, pitifully enough, when Laxus said, “Freed, don’t blame yourself. I was the one who retreated to my house because I couldn’t--” he took a deep breath, causing me to look up at him, seeing his face scrunched up in concentration. “You made me realize some important things.” I knew what he was alluding to couldn’t be what I longed for it to be, but that was the only place my mind kept jumping to. What if he loved me too? What if there really was going to be a happy ending?

“Laxus…” I said only his name, for I could not think what else to say. I longed to ask what he meant. I wanted to savor every moment we had together, even when he eventually explained that he didn’t actually love me and my mind was being crazy for thinking anything otherwise. I wanted so badly to hear him continue, but our child wanting nothing of the sort apparently. My stomach suddenly turned upside down, causing me to hop off the bed as fast as I could and dart to the bathroom, this time ruining my perfect moment with Laxus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, another one of those pesky chapters where the end just makes you want more :( The next one will be out probably tomorrow or the day after, but I have to work every single day this week so I won't have quite as much time to write. I hope you guys enjoyed this one (I know I did), so if you have anything to comment, just drop it below! It makes me so happy to see feedback from you guys!


	14. The Middle of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a little longer and for that I'm sorry lol. I tried to type it on my phone at work today (we were reeeaallllyyy slow) but instead I ended up just reading three or four chapters of my favorite fanfic ever. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

There I was, laying on Laxus’s floor, once again emptying my stomach, and once again senselessly pleading with my child to let me have some peace for a while. My desires all lead to one point - Laxus. I longed to question him on what he was attempting to tell me. I let my mind stray to the, obviously incorrect, assumption that he might have been trying to tell me the one thing I desired most. The happy thoughts led me away from thinking of the previous week’s worth of time spent on my own bathroom floor.

 

However, the more I allowed myself to long for the impossible, the more I unfortunately deluded myself into thinking that he might - nay, that he _must _have been ready to tell me that he too felt attraction towards me. I simply knew that that _had _to be what he ‘realized.’ I suddenly had a glimmer of hope for our future relationship, brought about by delusion sprung from my stomach. That glimmer slowly evolved to become brighter than possible even Laxus himself. I had to get my one true love to love me too. I simply had to convince him to love me, which in my nauseated and feeble mind, merely consisted of convincing him to love in general.____

_____ _

 

____

Laxus was never really one to one to tell _anyone _that he loved them. He simply fought with some people and had sex with others. Sure, he cared for his team deeply, but we fell into the ‘fought with’ category (Except me, on one night). If I could simply convince him to accept the fact that he loved at all, he might come to realize that some loves are different than others and come to love me romantically. My thoughts were _higly _delusional, but they gave me a false sense of power. A false sense of power which was soon vomited up into the toilet, that was.____

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

As I was emptying my stomach of food and my mind of power, I was barely able to recognize the fact that my Thunder God was speaking to me. He was beginning to ramble by the time I tuned out of my thoughts and into the real world. “...Bix woke up and he was worried about the crying and I was scared and I ain't abandoning you again, I just had some trouble with thinking and stuff and then I thought I mighta been abandoning you so I rushed here. I'm sorry, Freed.. You sound terrible,” he walked over to crouch next to me after finishing a rant which could only be classified as disjointed. Disjointed and sweet that was, but still disjointed nonetheless. Despite his disjointed speech, his actions were fluid. As he crouched down beside me, he scooped up my hair into a neat clump he held in one hand and rubbed my back gently with the other. “It's okay,” he muttered under his breath.

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

We sat there in complete silence for quite some time, Laxus rubbing my back and me resting my head on my hands as I mentally wrestled against the need to vomit in his presence. I longed to question him about what he was going to tell me previously, but I couldn’t find my words. I was exhausted, and I knew Laxus was too. It was the dead of the night, after all. He only dragged himself out of bed to check my eyes, yet I dragged him into the bathroom with me as I emptied my stomach. 

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

My stomach was thoroughly emptied though, I simply didn’t want to get up and ruin our moment together. However, what classified to me as a ‘moment’ was shattered when Laxus said, “I’m so sorry, Freed…” It wasn't his words that took my breath away. It was the tone. I scooted around quickly to face him, painfully pulling his hand out of my hair unintentionally in the process, but I didn’t care. I simply cared about the fact that my honorable Thunder God was tainting his beautiful face with tears he didn’t deserve to shed.

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

“L-Laxus,” I choked out his name, tears immediately clouding my own eyes, the eyes Laxus woke himself to check on, as I watched the man I loved break down further into quiet sobs. 

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

“I’m so sorry…” He repeated himself once more, tearing my heart in two with the gut-wrenching sob which followed afterwards. I watched in shock as his body was overtaken by the sobs, which he kept quiet for obvious reasons, but couldn't contain entirely. “I never meant to be this weak…” He mumbled his words quietly, taking in deep breaths to fill his lungs after his tears stole his breath. “Freed… I just… Well, I ain’t ever had to deal with so much before… I’m so sorry, Freed.” When my name escaped his ever so slightly parted lips after his last apology, he took in a sharp intake of air, signifying another sob which was about to emerge. I knew I had to do something to soothe him, but what could I do?

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

I struggled to think of words to say to comfort him, but instead I ended up simply staring at him. He was sniffling, tears falling down his face and sobs shaking his body, but all I could do was stare. There were little whimpers escaping his body - whimpers of pure pain, tainting his beautiful lips. I wanted to show him once more how much I loved him, in the same way he comforted me earlier in the night, but I knew he'd hate to have my arms wrapped around him. Instead, he’d want some perfectly beautiful woman - someone who he could actually see himself spending his life with - hugging him instead. I settled for simply rubbing his back, as he had done for  me mere minutes earlier.

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

After a few minutes of back rubbing, Laxus’s sobs seemed to have slowed down immensely. I managed to find words in order to tell him, “Laxus, you are the strongest man I know. Don't ever call yourself weak, because you aren't. You, my Thunder God,” I blushed as I spoke his title,  “are stronger than any other person in the entire world. So many others would abandon the illegitimate, gay father of their child if they impregnated a man by magic. Instead of even thinking about abandoning me, you held your freak-outs inside and told me you were determined to be a great dad. Crying doesn’t take away from your strength Laxus, it only adds to it that you were strong enough to allow yourself to cry in my presence.”My speech sounded entirely cheesy, and it wasn’t worded particularly well, but I didn’t care for once. The only thing that mattered to me was the slight smile it brought to Laxus’s puffy face.

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

“I’m not as strong as you think,” he replied with a smile. “You don’t remember it right now since I punched you and all, but when you came here last night, I was wasted beyond belief. I’d been sitting at home all week getting the most wasted I’d ever been, simply because I didn’t want to have to face my fears of what you told me when I was leaving,” his words elicited a whimper from me, to which he immediately responded, “Stop hating yourself for it. It’s my turn to o be emotional, and this time I ain’t letting you forget my words.”

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

His sobs were almost completely suppressed by the time he caused me to start wondering once more what he needed to tell me. I hated it, but I nearly abandoned my worry for Laxus in favor of watching his face contort into silent words which he could not seem to get out. I knew those words couldn't be what I longed for them to, but there was a voice in the back of my head which insisted that they had to be. 

_______ _ _ _

 

_______ _ _ _

“Freed, there’s no good place to start with this,” he began, causing my heart to beat faster and my brain to attempt to read the future. “I guess I’ll start by saying that I _am _weak, no matter what you say. I was weak enough to run from a simple confession. I ran so far away that I left you, I left my _child _alone for over a week. What good did that do me? None. I ain’t happy I did it. I did it so I could run away to my house, get wasted, and ignore the fact that I could feel anything at all, let alone the confusing feelings I was struggling with. I don’t really know _what _I’m feeling, but I know one thing for sure and that’s that I.. I feel...” Laxus looked down at the floor entirely. He had been glancing up and down, making eye contact with me, but once he paused, he ceased it entirely, instead making stready eye contact with the tile floor. “I guess I just feel _something _for… You… I ain’t never felt anything like this before though, so I just ran.. I’m so sorry, Freed… I’m so sorry I’m so weak… I’m so s-sorry…” Despite the fact that my heart was beating fast enough to pump blood for at least three people, when my Thunder God’s composure shattered once more, and he began to cry again, I knew I had to do something.________

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

His tears rolled down his face calmly, not as the torrential downpour they had been previously, but they still stabbed my heart out, they simply took their time doing as such. I longed to hug him, to squeeze him so tight both to show him that it was okay and to show him that love really didn’t have to be a bad thing, but I decided it was for the better that I not awake any other confusing feelings in him while he was already suffering through his current confusions. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Laxus, the past is the past and I would never harbor Ill will towards you for something you regret so deeply. I know you’d never abandon me again, and I don’t blame you for it in the first place. It wasn’t weak, it was simply fear. Fear does not make one weak, Laxus. Running from fear does not consist of weakness either. What weakness truly consists of is refusing it even acknowledge the fact that fear is an option. If you were to refuse to acknowledge the fact that I ever confessed to you, even when it was brought up, that would be weak, but this is truly strong.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You needn’t shed tears over this. You were able to tell me all of your confusing feelings, feelings which I myself kept bottled up deep inside for years and years. I attempted to hide everything for years, but you spoke up to me about all your confusion after only a little over a week when you weren’t even sure how you felt yourself. That takes courage, Laxus, so don’t ever call yourself week again, for you have displayed true strength.” I smiled at him broadly as I spoke. I simply couldn’t help it. There was a chance he was going to love me back, so how could I?

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

I felt rude, but my mind instantly began to wander to all the plus sides of this stunning revelation. If he really did grow to love me, I would be able to stay myself, and not struggle with an unwanted sex change for the rest of my life. Our child could have two parents who loved each other and lived together, versus having two best-friend-dads who the child had to pick between.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

However, I didn’t have too long to brood in my happy thoughts, seeing as Laxus pushed himself up off the floor soon after my love infused attempt at encouragement. He wiped his already-wiped eyes once more, but he couldn’t wipe the puffiness away. I could see the shame he felt in what he considered weakness as he averted his eyes from my own, but he was still my Laxus. He was my crazy, loving Laxus who only bared his feelings every once in a blue moon.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Thanks for talking some sense into me,” he mumbled, “I ain’t gonna lie, I still feel weak, but I know how much you meant your words, so… Yeah…” He held his hand out, helping me up as he mumbled his jumbled up feelings quite adorably. His struggles to get out words just caught me off guard. I never knew it would be so damn cute to see my Thunder God actually expressing a feeling other than anger.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’ll always be here to talk some sense into you. However, we should retire until morning. It is still late and if we don’t sleep soon, we run the risk of waking Bix or the risk of sleeping until very late tomorrow and throwing off our sleep schedules. I’d love to further continue this discussion in the light of day, however.” I hated the fact that I sounded so formal, but I couldn’t help l it. I knew Laxus understood though, as he simply looked at me, smiled, and ruffled my hair a little with his much-larger-than-my-own hand.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You’re right,” he said. “Just know you help a ton. Without you, I wouldn’t be me. Get some sleep though now. You need it to get better, and I need you to get better.” Just like that, we went our separate ways once more. I longed to squeeze him one last time, just for the night, but I was too scared to do as such. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Night, Laxus,” I said, running my hands through my hair as I recalled the feeling of his own there only a few seconds prior. It was nice knowing that I’d wake up in a few hours and get to see his smiling face. He liked me, after all. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

  
“Night, Freed,” he called in response, going his separate way. This time, however, the parting was a happy one. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I was writing this one, everything I owned was running out of power. My phone I use to pull up previous versions was almost dead, the tablet I use to type it was almost dead, and my Bluetooth keyboard was almost dead. My only problem was that I only have one outlet thing.... It got kinda hectic swapping cords around, but I survived.


	15. Cooking and Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long, I haven't been at home much so it was all typed on my phone. Also, I just didn't really like this one so I rewrote it multiple times (Normally I just post my first draft, but this one I'm still not satisfied with) Hope you guys enjoy it!

It seemed that waking up in Laxus’s guest bedroom was becoming quite the common occurrence. However, waking up and immediately feeling a grin which could only be described as goofy (Or maybe lovestruck?) was new. I creeped out into the living room when I felt my stomach grumbling, most likely due to the fact that I had thoroughly emptied it the night before (And what a wonderful night before that night had been). I could barely even contain my happiness from overriding my normally calm thoughts as I thought of the fact that Laxus said he felt something for me. 

 

Bickslow was still sleeping soundly on the couch, his ‘babies’ all either laying on him or wrapped up in his arms. I feared waking him, because I knew he’d notice my giddiness, question me on it, and refuse to let himself get the sleep he so desperately needed. So, I snuck into the kitchen, creeping past his sleeping form carefully. There was barely a wall separating us, seeing as Laxus’s kitchen had a bar counter instead of a closed off wall, so I ensured my silence carefully. 

 

I pulled my hair back, slipped my apron on (Which Laxus kept for months), and grabbed one of Laxus’s best pans (Which only Bickslow or I ever used) from the ceiling rack. I began to cook breakfast, cracking a few eggs into the pan. I couldn’t keep my mind from drifting to the heavier side of life, despite my overwhelming joy at the fact that Laxus said he felt something for me. My mind drifted the side of life in which I would be forced to transition to the other gender against my will - possibly even staying as such for the duration of my life. The side of life in which I would have to struggle to provide means for my child with my wizarding job, yet not be away from home for too long. The side of life in which Laxus might even end up crushing my highest hopes yet.

 

It wasn’t long, however, before I forced my mind to think of the positive once more, going back to my blindingly bright glimmer of hope. The hope told me that Laxus definitely would love me. However, I couldn’t contain my thoughts to one great point in life once I started thinking positively. I began to think of Laxus in general, honestly. I thought of the first day I met him - the day he convinced Bickslow and I to join Fairy Tail. I thought of the day we met Evergreen, and the three of us determined to always defend the man who inspired us so thoroughly. I even ended up thinking of darker times - Laxus attempting to take over the guild by force, losing his mind, and bringing s with him for a while. However, he took the fall for us, ensuring we kept the home we adapted to, even without him.

 

Despite all of the thoughts my mind wandered to, one was visited many more times than others. My mind always returned to the beautiful moment with Laxus which soared high above the rest. No matter how recent it was compared to the others, it captivated my mind so fully that I almost forgot that I was cooking breakfast. I nearly ruined the meal I was making for the man I loved and my best friend simply by being wistful. As I yanked the pan away from the fire lacrima, I made the mistake of exclaiming some form of expletive. No matter the fact that I instantly cursed myself mentally, I knew as soon as I heard shuffling from the living room that the damage was already done.

 

“Free? You alrea’y up?” I heard Bickslow calling to me from the living room, obviously still exhausted. I quickly contemplated the option of simply not answering, in order to let him sleep, but I knew that if I were to ignore him (Which I don’t think I could have), he would have only drug himself off of the couch to ensure that I was okay after my exclamation. 

 

“Indeed, I am.” I answered him, quite a few seconds after his initial questioning, “I awoke a few minutes ago and decided it would be beneficial to cook breakfast for you, Laxus, and myself. I’m deeply sorry I awoke you, I attempted to keep quiet, but I came very near to burning the omelette I was preparing, which prompted me to lose control and exclaim.” I knew I was being way too uptight and formal (As Bickslow would say), but I truly did feel apologetic. Bickslow was too kind to us, despite how outwardly crazy he preferred to act. 

 

For one thing, he never allowed any of his team to be awake alone. If he could help it, no matter how tired - or injured, at times - he was, he’d force himself to stay awake in order to keep Laxus, Ever, or I company. When we, inevitably, all ended up in the hospital, he’d wake at the slightest movement, saying he knew how it felt to suffer alone. He always said it was because he knew how it felt to be lonely and hurt, but it felt as if there was a deeper meaning behind it than that. I worried that he’d hurt himself with sleep deprivation at some point, but it was nice of him either way.

 

“Stop acting so prissy,” he responded, laughing a little. “Breakfast smells delicious, doesn’t it, babies?” He then proceeded to glance around a little, refusing to meet my eyes until he grabbed his mask and secured it firmly on his head. It saddened me that he always felt the need to hide his face even from his closest friends. It was due to an accident when he was first learning to use his magic of choice. He hospitalized Evergreen due to the fact that he mistakenly took control of her while she was learning her new magic. She came crashing to the ground mid-flight, was hospitalized for over a month, and he never looked any of us in the eye again.

 

The entire Thunder Legion knew he was strong enough to never mistakenly take control of someone again after only a small amount of training, but he refused to accept that fact. In a situation when he’s forced to remove his mask, he simply looks anywhere but the eyes. He’ll simply stare down, refusing to even look around simply because he doesn't trust himself. It was heart wrenching to think about, but there seemed not to be a way to assuage his concerns. 

 

“Freed? You're zoning out on me,” Bickslow cackled as he spoke, dragging me away from my morbid memories and into the beautiful light of reality.  He wouldn't want my pity, so thus I should withhold it, despite the pain the past bore on my thoughts. 

 

“S-Sorry, my  thoughts were somewhat… Preoccupied.” I stuttered at first, to my shame, but I quickly recovered myself. I knew I should have lessened on the formalities, lest Bix start yelling at me to ‘take the stick out of my ass and live a little,’ but it was hard to do as such at times, despite the childish joy which it sometimes brought to my mind. I only felt comfortable enough to act as such with my closest friends, however. With the majority of humanity, I felt the need to act as if I were trapped inside one of my own rune traps - I had to act precisely how I expected someone dignified to act. I felt the need to have others see how composed and professional of a person I was, even in the moments when I wasn't on the inside. If I acted as such, I felt as if I were making a good name for Fairy Tail and, more importantly, my Thunder God. 

 

“I bet all these blank stares have something to do with all that crying and whispering that I heard late last night, now don't they? Spill the beans, Freedy. My babies and I wanna know.” I had been slightly worried that Bickslow would attempt to procure the previous night’s happenings from me. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him. On the contrary. I wished I could flop down on the couch and pour my heart out to him about how happy I was over Laxus’s confusion. However, due to how overwhelmed with emotions I still was, I knew my words would falter on the way out and not hold nearly as much meaning. Merely thinking of the night before made me instantly aware of the fact that I had a beating heart - simply because it sped up so much it was hard to ignore it. 

 

I sighed, delicately perched on the edge of Laxus's favorite armchair, and said, “It's a long story, Bix. I'm not sure I have the right words to tell you, either.”

 

He simply looked at me for a few seconds, cracking up in laughter as his little dolls, mimicking his laughter, swooped around him in intricate little paths, yet managing to never collide with him. “It must be something  amazing to leave you at a loss for words,” he said, giving me a broad smile, complete with no less than half his tongue flopping out. “Now find your damn words and tell me, or I'll be  _ forced _ to wake up Laxus and beg him for the dirty details, and we both know how that'll end up.”

 

“Well, I mean…” I stared down at my lap, wringing my hands together as I spoke, “I didn't have to worry at all. Laxus…” I struggled against my body, attempting to keep my face from turning red, “I don't think he'd ever hate me.” I figured the best way to calm my nerves would be to work Bickslow up, which would be easy if I gave no concrete details. He'd get upset, possibly even throw a fit with his babies if I refused to elaborate. He was childish at heart, despite the fact that he was serious at times. 

 

However, instead of getting upset, he seemed to know exactly what I meant. “What did he do to show you? I know you guys didn't do it because I would have woken up for that. What'd he do that's got you all flustered?” Despite the fact that he was a child at heart, he was still incredibly perverted. 

 

So, starting from when Laxus awoke me (And I'd started crying, thus waking up Bix), I told my best friend the entire chronicles of the night before. It was strange, but once I began talking of the best night I'd ever had, I simply couldn't stop spilling words out all over the place.

 

I told him every last detail, even the dirty ones as he'd requested (Oh how I'd longed to smash my lips against Laxus's and show him how much I loved him, but that would only have complicated matters further.). Bickslow couldn't help but chuckle a little at my never ending desire to procure Laxus's love as my own, which didn't bother me in the slightest, as Bickslow couldn't help but do a lot worse than chuckle at most serious situations. It was admirable, in a strange way. 

 

After I finished my story, and he finished congratulating me on winning over, ‘the heart of the heartless man,’ as he joked, we slowly slipped back into the lull of a typical conversation. It started after a period of short silence, which was interrupted by Bix saying, “Hey, how's your head feeling by the way? I know Porlyushica said you'd be fine, but my babies are worried, y’know? Worried sick.”

 

“It feels mostly fine. It only hurts when I put pressure on the bruise. And my vision blurs ever so slightly upon sharp turns, so all in all, it's not much worse than any typical concussion. However, I'm still fuzzy on the details of last night. Laxus said he'd tell me, but he was pretty torn up about it, which worries me. I don't think he should blame himself.” I explained my situation to Bix, even though I figured he already knew what had happened. 

 

“Honestly, I shouldn't have egged him on so much, but he gets so damn angry and it's so damn funny.” Bickslow cackled, his tongue once more extruding from his face, more familiar to me than the eyes which I rarely got to see.    
  


“Funny! Laxus is funny!” Bickslow's babies swirled around him at increasing speeds, obviously excited to agree with him on that subject. 

  
“And just why am I so funny?” I heard a charming chuckle emanate from the entryway to the living room, instantly causing me to jump up from Laxus's seat and rush over to the adorable blonde himself. It was a blessing to me to see his smile, to be able to look up fondly at his kind yet rugged face so early in the morning. I wanted his smile to be just for me. I longed for that man to be entirely mine. I needed his love, and I needed him to accept mine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one might not be out for a little but because I have a metric shit ton of college stuff I have to do before I move in, but it won't be too long. Like two weeks tops.


	16. Stories of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this took a little longer than expected, but the next one definitely won't. I had to move in and get situated at my new living area, so I didn't really have too much time to type :( I've been working on this one since I moved here though, and it is quite the long one. Warning though, it does get a little deep/dark and Bickslow is not the most tame storyteller, so he doesn't treat some things the way most people would.

“Nothing at all! Nothing is funny,” I exclaimed, rushing over to the smiling blonde. “Good morning, I have prepared breakfast, which I placed in the microwave. If you’d prefer. I can grab it for you, okay?” My words were spoken at such speeds that they began to make less sense, which I didn’t quite enjoy. I endured the slight slurring despite my discomfort, as my words were struggling to escape in such a fashion that even if I truly desired to hold them inside, they would find a way to join with the outside world. It simply wasn’t physically possible to hold them inside. I allowed my smile to broaden even further (Despite the fact that the edges of my mouth were beginning to feel a little taught) as I thought of the fact that Laxus simply brought out a side of me which would otherwise be pushed down, hidden for all eternity - yet another reason to love my Thunder God. 

 

“Down boy,” Bickslow nearly purred from the couch, yet breaking down into laughter before his short sentence was over. I pushed his comment to the back of my mind, and put it in a filing cabinet of all of the other times he had teased me. The breaktaking blonde in front of me deserved more of my head-on attention than Bickslow’s teasing at the moment, so I allocated my attention accordingly. 

 

“Well, I guess you two certainly have made yourselves at home while I was asleep. I’m still tired though, so there better be coffee in the kitchen waiting for me,” Laxus smirked down at me, causing my knees to turn to jelly. Did he  _ know _ what he was doing to me? I immediately scampered into the kitchen, starting a fresh pot of coffee, just in case the current one wasn’t warm enough. I knew that he wouldn’t truly be upset with me, yet I found joy in falling victim to his every word. After all, it might bring a smile to his face. 

 

However, what if other things might make him smile more? My mind immediately brought me to the terrible thought that maybe leaving Laxus would reduce his stress over our situation, allowing him to smile more. Maybe I was a damper on his happiness, what with the complex situation that we seemed to be in. It would most likely make his life easier if the man who was in love with him (and threatening his notion of the sexuality which he always believed to be right) would simply disappear from his life. Maybe he didn’t need someone like me to act so clingy, to pounce on him as soon as he climbed out of bed, flooding him with my own happiness while he might think I was expecting him to reciprocate fully. He knew they were filled with love - the love for him which was so strong that I was having trouble forcing it back down - but was it too much?

 

I struggled against those thoughts, fighting them until I believed they had been eliminated and replaced by ‘happier’ thoughts. They started out innocently enough as I thought that maybe Laxus would eventually come to love me as much as I loved him, but then they took a turn I had been tricking myself into avoiding previously - What if he did come to love me, but only as a result of my magical sex change? That thought abruptly explode to encompass every thought which I was attempting to think. It wasn’t a pleasant thought in the slightest, no, instead it was a dark thought which seemingly infected my mind with thoughts of despair. I loathed the fact that I thought that he might love me simply because of the fact that I would soon be of the sex that he always thought himself to be solely attracted to. That wouldn’t be love. It would merely be self deception. What would he do if I changed back? Would the ‘love’ even count as love enough for the change to reverse? Would he ever be able to love me enough to allow me to continue living on as the person I have always envisioned as, ‘Freed Justine’?

 

My thoughts boiled over as I simply lost the will to fight against the negativity that was permeating throughout my addled mind. Before I could even begin to start the coffee that I was previously so eager to make, I felt tears beginning to drip from my eyes. Why? I wasn’t normally weak enough to cry over every last thing. Perhaps the happiest night of my life thus far had occurred only hours ago, yet all I could do was cry over mere possibilities. 

 

I longed to be happy, to relish in the moment, yet all I could do was cry. I felt an intense need to continue the hope I had sparked in myself the night before, yet all I could do was push it away until hope was only a distant memory to me. I came into the kitchen simply to make coffee for the man I was in love with, yet I felt myself slowly slumping to the floor with the weight of my thoughts bearing down on my mind, unable to stop my body from being overtaken by sobs.

 

“Feed? Freed are you okay?” I heard my voice called gently at first but quickly increasing to frantic calls as my sobs grew louder. Both of the men in my life came rushing into the kitchen, giving them the sight of me leaning against the cabinets on the floor, uncontrollably sobbing. I was too weak. I felt the strong hand of the man I loved come gently down on my shoulder - a gesture which would have given me world ending peace and solace at any other time, but instead it shook my body with even louder sobs, which raked through my system as if they were struggling to kill me from the inside, out. I couldn’t control my body any longer, let alone the raging emotions I was feeling. My head was spinning with thoughts of anger at the fact that I had chosen the wrong man to fall in love with, hurt at the fact that I didn’t think I’d ever have my love returned, and uselessness as I fell further into my pit of despair.

 

“Why are ya crying, Freed?” Bickslow’s words were nearly mumbled, which only served to further tear apart my confidence. I was even ruining Bickslow’s sense of humor, so it seemed. I longed for him to laugh at me, to call me a crybaby and to ask Laxus if it turned him on to make people cry, but instead of normality, I was met with an irregularity in our usual system. It seemed to be happening more and more as of late. I felt as if I had stolen that part of my friend’s demeanor, which only served to even further chip away at my mental state.

 

“Freed, you have to say  _ something _ ,” Laxus’s words were nearly growled. My sobs fought against my brain in order to keep me from letting out my words, but even if I were able to speak, what would I say? Why was I even so upset? Sure, my life wasn’t perfect at the moment, but it wasn’t ruined either. I’d have a child to love and care for in a few months, a child who would have two wonderful fathers, even if they ended up not being together. I had a chance to make something of my relationship with Laxus, which I couldn’t do if I were only laying on the floor, pathetically losing my mind.

 

I couldn’t form any words in my mind, let alone force some out verbally. The most I could manage was an undecipherable squeak which at least assisted in softening my sobs quite a bit. The fact that Laxus ever so tenderly scooped me up off the floor and cradled me in his arms as he carried me over to a much more comfortable place to collapse made my sobs feet completely and utterly pointless - which they were. There was no  _ reason _ that I should be so emotional over simple thoughts. I had been living with the fact that Laxus would ‘never’ love me for years, and that horrifying thought never served to make me anything other than inwardly depressed. I was always able to hold in any sort of outward emotion for when I was alone - save for a couple times when Laxus was no longer in the guild.

 

Laxus gently placed me down on the couch, even going so far as to give me the entire surface as my own, seeing as he sat down on the floor beside the couch instead of sitting in his chair or on the couch with me. As I sunk into the plush surface of the couch (Ever was an expert at picking out comfortable yet appealing furniture), Laxus simply rubbed my back, causing my sobs to lessen intensely. They eased away until there were no more than a few intermittent sharp breaths escaping my slightly parted lips.

 

I felt my eyes growing heavy as I watched Bickslow and Laxus converse quietly, yet I couldn’t bring my lethargic mind to focus enough on their words to actually understand them, so instead I was met with a tired body, a tired mind, and muddled background noises to lull me to sleep. My mind kept feeding me lies as I attempted to succumb to the sleep - I didn’t deserve these two men, who came running to rescue me from myself at the slightest notice. I didn’t matter at all, so why would they even care about me? I was useless enough to have a mental breakdown, so they should just leave me. They weren’t the most pleasant thoughts to fall asleep to, and that was for sure.

 

LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE LINE

 

“L-Laxus?” I spoke the first words that came to my mind as my mind came back to me, immediately regretting it as I felt someone next to me stir. I had, at some point, finally succumbed to the sleep which had been beckoning me. Everything which had occurred during my breakdown felt… surreal. It felt as if it hadn’t been me who was acting out the sobs and letting my mind whisper cruel lies to me. In fact, after waking up I simply felt normal once more, as if nothing had ever happened. The thought that it truly did honestly haunted me. It wasn’t like me to simply lose control as such.  

 

The second I mumbled my love’s name and blinked my eyes open, squinting a little at the light in hopes that it wouldn’t trigger my morning sickness, I felt someone move off of the couch by my feet and was met by Bickslow’s masked face as he kneeled in front of me. I heard footsteps come frantically running in from another room, as Laxus called, “Was that Freed?” I couldn’t help but smile slightly at the fact that they both came rushing in to save me from the pain which had already evaporated from my being. I had wonderful people in my lives, who - no matter how Laxus ended up determining he felt for me - I would always have around. I would always be able to rely on my two best friends in the Thunder Legion as well as the man we all looked up to.

 

They had stood by me in the past few weeks, which were honestly some of the most difficult in my life. Those weeks had been fraught with worry, pain, confusion, and voluntary solitary confinement, yet they had also been weeks which I would not choose to exchange for any ‘normal’ weeks. I was able to grow as a person as a result of the pain, which made me realize just how much I felt I needed to improve to make myself an adequate parent. I needed to be the best person I could in hopes that one day my child might say that he or she wants to be like their daddy when they grow up, which at the current moment would not be a perfect choice either way. Either they would want to be cold and calculating or they’d want to shove their feelings deep inside of themselves, keeping said feelings hidden from anyone but their closest friends and lashing out as a form of affection towards anyone else. I felt as if I had a long way to go before I could make do as a nurturing parent who gives love and care instead of cold, calculated words. My family was going to be a happy one, no matter what, because I had all of these wonderful people around me.

 

“F-Freed? Are you okay?” Laxus pulled me back into reality (When did the tears in my eyes gather there?) as he gently rested the back of his hand on my forehead for a second before pulling it away. I knew that my breakdown must have been related to the fact that my body was transforming into that of a woman’s, but that didn’t explain the fact that I was crying even over the happy thoughts I was having. Perhaps it was due to the concussion? Although my heart dropped as I thought that, because if I had thought it, I was sure that the man who regretfully gave me the concussion had lingered on the thought for quite some time. 

 

“I seem to be doing positively now. My mental state was---” I paused for a second, realizing that if I allowed myself to constantly be calculating, my child might not feel as loved as he or she should, so instead of struggling to find the right words, I struggled to find the wrong ones. “I’m fine now, my mind was… scary… earlier.” I didn’t want to be a robot around my child. I wanted to be a dad, not some facade which I had constructed in order  to make myself feel as if my life were much more composed than it was. Most would call letting the less composed side our letting their ‘real’ self out, but honestly, as much as it hurt to think, I had been projecting my shield for much too long and I felt as if there was no longer a ‘real’ Freed lurking inside of me. He had been eradicated with my childhood and replaced with meticulously chosen words and actions. The only person who was ever able to lure him back from the dead for a few minutes was the same man who made my heart beat faster than anything else. Laxus consistently dragged me out of the pits of hell which I once said I’d follow him to.

 

“Who are you and what have you done with Freed?” Bickslow asked, laughing uneasily. “I don’t think the Freed I know would ever say something as primitive as that.”

 

Laxus, on the other hand was simply staring at me as if I were… something else. He didn’t look appalled, and he didn’t look put-off in the slightest, but he simply looked surprised as he said, “Freed… You sound like the little kid I met years back, when you and the pervert started fawning over me… Don’t you worry about what happened. I’ll never, uhh,” he actually paused for a second, rubbing the back of his head as he  _ thought  _ of what to say, “I’ll never blame you, or anyone else for that matter, just for being hurt. I woulda done that a few years ago, but not anymore.”  He sounded quite different himself. Instead of simply charging through his sentences with little structure planned out, he actually calculated the impact of his words and used them to make me feel safer. Laxus was trying to sound more professional for me. No, not professional… Laxus was trying to sound more like… me. It made me feel overwhelmingly warm inside to know how hard he was trying for me, and I was terrified that I was blushing, only further serving to embarrass myself after my ‘scary mind’ incident.

 

“God you two,” Bickslow groaned, flopping dramatically back onto the couch, where my feet were still resting. “This feels like that cheesy chick flick that Ever drug us to go see. It’s so damn sappy in here,” He cackled a little after his words, seemingly glad to have alerted us once more of his presence in the room - making sure that we knew not to get  _ too _ mushy with him around, while all the while pointedly showing that Laxus and I were getting close. Or maybe he was just making a joke. Who was I to analyze him?

 

“Bix, just shut the fuck up. He was hurt, okay? Stop trying to do this manipulative shit. I’m just trying to help our  _ friend _ .,” Laxus growled his words menacingly, with a small shower of lightning sparking off of his body as he stormed out of the room, the sounds of the shower wafting in from the bathroom a few seconds later. I guess Bickslow simply struck a chord he wasn’t aiming for. Last night Laxus more than hinted that he was contemplating the fact that he might have feelings for me, but today he apparently couldn’t handle the slightest jest at the fact that we were getting close. I felt a terrifying feeling of self-doubt enclosing on me once more as I thought of the implications that that might bring upon our relationship status, but instead of sitting idly by and letting the pain take over, I pushed it away, struggling to flood my consciousness with positive thoughts instead of the fears.

 

“God, someone’s got his panties in a wad. Dipshit can’t even take one little comment,” Bickslow outwardly acted as if he were angry at Laxus as well, but in all honesty, he was probably more upset that he got no laughs at his joke (Was it even really a joke, or more of an observation?) than the fact that Laxus yelled at him. Laxus and him simply worked together to to frustrate each other until one of them snapped.Well, they either did that or had strangely heartfelt conversations. More often the former than the latter though. It was strange, the friendships the three of us in the Thunder Legion had formed with Laxus were all based on a trio of broken kids looking up to some punk who thought he was greater than all else. We reinforced that opinion, and still do.

 

“He gets angry when he has to think about things that aren’t straightforward to him. As of right now, I’m not straightforward to him, so you have to cut him some slack. Anger is his go to stress-reliever. He pretends to be pissed to mask any other feeling, but hey, that’s the Thunder God we all came to know and love, right?” I struggled to talk casually, not even meaning to let the Thunder God comment slip out, seeing as I was almost certain that Bix and Ever ceased calling him that years ago. I was nearly certain that I was the only one of us who kept the name going, save for specific circumstances in which we were representing the Thunder Legion and needed to show our devotion. 

 

My suspicions were proven correct at least in relation to my masked friend, who scoffed in a playful manner before saying, “You still call him that?” He sighed before he said, “It reminds me of those days when we were both terrible at magic, yet we both swore to protect that little punk we called a god. That’s what he was back then, and we only fueled his arrogance. But the day we met him… That was one hell of a day,” Bickslow gave a heavier sigh as he thought back to the day that we were snapped out of our pain by a god we weren't even searching for. It was a time before everyone thought of Bickslow as a freak who stole people’s souls and before they thought of me as someone too rigid for friendships. Instead, they thought of both of us as little kleptomaniac freaks who refused to follow rules.

 

“Tell us! Tell us!” Bickslow’s babies called out, begging to hear the story of how two little snot nosed brats got saved by a slightly older punk who thought the world was in the palm of his hand. I smirked at their paths as they  swirled around my masked friend, and thought back to the times when he didn’t need the mask. I wouldn’t mind hearing the story myself, especially from Bickslow. He had… a way with words, to put it nicely, and he embellished the language just enough to make it his own story.

 

Bickslow beckoned for me to follow him to the back porch area, where we sat down on Laxus’s rarely used patio. I suppose he simply didn’t want Laxus overhearing the conversation, seeing as he was going to tell a story of how fully we admired (And still do) him. “Well, babies, me and Freed here, we didn’t have any family growing up. Freed’s parents died when he was a little itty baby of about three, right?” I nodded, feeling not the slightest bit of sadness, as I couldn’t remember them anyways, “My dad walked out on my mom when i thirteen, and she just couldn’t really handle it. It was her fault to begin with, but he was a dick for ditching me with her, so whatever. She got to drinking, going to clubs all the time, buying sketchy drugs, and eventually it all lead to her hanging herself in our living room. It was quite the fucked up situation, especially when I walked in the door after school, and it seriously damaged me for quite some time, but despite the fact that I hate to admit it, dear babies, it also sort of saved me. She wasn’t ever really a mother to me, more of someone who provided the bare necessities I needed to survive: a wee bitty bit of food, a sometimes heated or cooled house, and all the clothes my dad and older brother left behind when they ditched me with her.

 

“It was about a year after he walked out that she died, and I haven’t seen him since. Child protective services threw me in an entirely different hell, full of kids who actually loved their parents. Good parents, who either fucked up bad or were killed by someone else, or their own body, fucking up. There were, of course, others who had the shitty parents, but most of them were so far gone that they simply stayed holed up in the rooms, hiding from society and the noise of the loud young little fuckers who don’t understand shut the fuck up.

 

“Now, the guy I bunked with was one of that type. The type who hid in their bunk all day, only daring to climb out of bed with the beckoning scent of food wafting through the dorms. I never really got to know him that well until the day that I walked in to find him laying on the bunk below mine with a ra--”

 

“Wait…” I mumbled quietly over him. I didn’t want to hear the painful part of the story. I simply wanted him to pretend as if the only important part was the part where Laxus swooped in and took us away from a world of pain.

 

“Freed, you’re here now, not there, so don’t get all pissy and depressed. My babies wanted me to tell the story, and you volunteered to listen as well, so just sit your little ass back down and listen. You were the one who kept blabbering all that bullshit about how we didn’t have to worry because ‘instead of living in hell we’re safe with a man who pulled us to heaven,’ so you just keep telling yourself all that sappy shit and listen to my story,” as Bickslow spoke ‘my’ lines he raised his voice until it was high pitched and squeaky. The laughter allowed me to nod along, feeling slightly less uneasy with hearing the full and unadulterated story of how we suffered together and we were rescued together.

 

“Go ahead,” I said , blending it with a breath of air that had to escape my mouth to begin with, simply giving it slight constitution and allowing it to be heard as words to one who might be listening. A part of my mind cringed at the low level of clarity, but I told that part of my mind that it needed to tone itself down, for speech couldn’t always be precise when speaking to a child, and I needed to get further into that mindset. 

 

“That’s more like it!” Bickslow’s voice rose a couple levels in volume, and he even went so far as to scoot to the edge of his seat as if his story held great importance to the fate of the entire world. “Quiet down babies, it’s back to story time,” he patted each one of his little dolls’ ‘heads’ before wiggling a little bit around in his seat to get comfy and continuing, “I never really knew my roomie until one day when I walked in our room to take a nap, because I was fucking depressed and wanted to get wasted, but I didn’t want to go down the same way my poor old stupid mother did, and when I walked in, I saw him all self-absorbed laying on the bunk below me with a fucking box cutter in his hand and blood running down his arm. It wasn’t anything close to something that could be considered fatal, but it was definitely going to leave a scar on the poor kid’s arm. It wasn’t even in one of the typical spots,” my hand reached up to feel my upper arm as he spoke, knowing that under the sleeve there were more than a few scars which predated my battles, “He told me later that it just made him feel like he was real, but I told him that was a fucked up way to tell yourself you were alive - and I would know - but that’s off topic.

 

“So, I didn’t know this guy at all, but he and his pretty little face didn’t deserve to be fucking up his body like that. I learned that a long time ago. Hurting yourself only serves to further hurt yourself. Escape should be found in a healthier way, like beating the shit out of the ‘bad guys’ that we fight, or even just beating the shit out of anyone who bugs you,” Bickslow laughed as per usual. He showed his tough side a lot more than the tender one, similarly to Laxus, except his tough side was the insane part of his mind, which he let constantly have control over his words, which never ended up truly reflecting his actions.

 

“I went over to the little prick, and I yanked that cutter out of his little hand. Then, I grabbed his arm that wasn’t all bloody, and I dragged him into the kitchen of the establishment we were living in. I shoved the little bitch into one of the chairs at the table, stared into his practically lifeless eyes, and I said something along the lines of, ‘Don’t you ever hurt yourself like that again, little bitch. I’m not going to have an idiot for a roommate, and I’m definitely not settling for a dead idiot,’ then, to give him time to let my beautifully crafted words to settle into his fragile little mind, I rubbed his arm clean of blood, put some disinfectant on it, and bandaged it up night and neat. After I was done, I patted his back, causing him to wince slightly for reasons he at that time refused to tell me, and I said, ‘I’m Bickslow, and I’m going to be your friend, whether you like it or not.’ After that, true to my glorious word, we became friends,” Bickslow gave me a genuine smile, nary a trace of his tongue flopping out. It made me remember the day when some guy who genuinely looked like the definition of trouble pulled me out of my senseless and poorly excused self-harm and depression at the fact that I had always been alone. After that day, I finally had the friend I had always wanted, and even though he was a straightforwardly perverted son of a bitch, he very quickly became my best friend.

 

“So, we became best buddies real quick. Turns out, he was actually a really wealthy kid, which wasn’t really important to me, but it was to him. His parents had been rich, so when they died, he inherited a shit-load of shit from them. The Establishment, as we all called our home, had it all stored away in a bank account, but they gave the guy an allowance to go out and do things when he requested a modest amount. I wouldn’t have cared if we had just dicked around the Establishment, watching TV and teasing little kids, but he was different. He had a lot on his mind, and once we were buddies, he told me he wanted to do things that always had appealed to him in order to lift said ever-present weight off his mind. 

 

“Now, since my poor roomie got treated like shit around the Establishment, due to the fact that somehow the other kids had deducted that he was gay, and since it was something different than them, they felt the need to make it a term for ostracization, the other kids decided that it was mighty suspicious that we were hanging out all the time. All we ever got when we walked in the door to what was supposed to be our home was shit like, ‘Where were you two faggots at?’or ‘Bix, why do you hang out with that worthless faggot?’ I was used to simply punhing people and moving on with my life, but it didn’t come to my roomie as simply as that. He was the type that analyzed their comments until they were permanently lodged in his mind, and once they were there they simply haunted him. A lifetime of feeling alone and being bullied for being yourself does that to a guy. I’m disappointed I didn’t pay enough attention to notice the bullying prior to our friendship, or we would have become friends much sooner, but that’s besides the point. 

 

“I had lived my life thus far in a home that, albeit not the most caring, provided me with the basics of what I needed, as I previously stated. The kids at my prior school were terrified of me, seeing as I beat the shit out of a couple of them when they tried to tease me over stupid shit. In fact, most of them simply whispered about me behind my back, calling me a psychopath where no one could hear them instead of saying it to my face. So, when they started doing the same to my roommate at my new school, I decided to attempt the same tactics on them. I tried to save him by beating the shit out of the bullies, but it resulted in me only getting into deeper shit at the Establishment. 

 

“When my mom was alive, she didn’t give a shit what the school would call her about. She didn’t really give a shit about what I did either, as long as it didn’t cost her money. I’d come home some days with black eyes, bruised ribs, and all other sorts of injuries, and her only response was, ‘Well don’t mess up the house or you’re going to get more of those when your dad gets home.’ At the Establishment, however, the headmaster would chew my ear off for like an hour over something as simple as punching a guy or two - no harm done to myself. Every time I came home with a black eye, or when the school suspended me for violence, she’d get all pissy and make me do extra chores or skip dinner or some shit like that. I hated it. It was like being stuck on a leash.

 

“My roommate hated that I was getting in trouble because of him. He threatened that he would leave school, because apparently he thought the fights were detrimental to my own education, which he valued over his own. He said I needed to worry about my own life and not worry about his. He said his life was a lost cause to begin with because he didn’t believe anyone but me would ever want to be friends with ‘a faggot like him’ as he said. It really made me venomously hate all of the fuckers we lives with, so eventually I cooked up a plan that couldn’t fail in my stupid little fifteen year old mind. My roommate was turning sixteen in less than a month, at which age he could claim his fortune and seeing as he’d be a legal adult, he could only live in the Establishment for a few more months. So, I told him that once he turned sixteen, the both of us should just take everything we owned (Which wasn’t really much for me, if I were to be completely honest) and skip out on town completely. I proposed that we started our adult lives somewhere free of all the little bitches who bullied him.

 

My plan ended up not working out sufficiently, however, as when my roommate moved out, and I skipped town with him, the heads of the Establishment knew that I was with him, and organized for all of his bank accounts to be frozen under the premise that he was using the money to illegally aid in the kidnapping of a minor. It pissed me the fuck off. That poor kid could never kidnap anything, and I was only a few months away from adulthood myself, but whatever. That couldn’t do anything to get the money back, so instead we resorted to a life living on the streets, going from town to town and picking up basic magic to use for what other people considered evil - stealing food in order to not starve ourselves. 

 

“Eventually, we became rather infamous in that region of Fiore. It was rather badass, if I do say so myself, but apparently fliers got dispersed to the magical guilds offering a bounty in order to stop ‘the evil duo of thieves that were plaguing the southwestern part of the country!’ Some punk took up the job, looking to claim an easy yet obnoxiously high bounty by defeating two amateur wizards. That punk was Laxus, and my roommate was, of course, Freed over there.” Bickslow’s smile was once more broad and genuine instead of crazily wide and slightly offsetting. The story of how we were saved warmed both of our hearts, and I could tell that even without the ability to see my best friend’s face. We were finally away from the dark part of the story, which made me realize that I had been clenching my fist too tight without even realizing it, relaxing my hands and wincing slightly as I noted that I needed to trim my fingernails, as they were long enough to leave a lot of painful little crescent shapes in the palm of my hand. I was safe though. The end of the story made me even more clueless as to of why I broke down earlier in the morning, as it made me realize just how safe I was. My Thunder God would protect all of the Thunder Legion and all of us would protect each other and him, even to the death.

 

“So, this punk, who was about three or four years older than me, came waltzing up to us one day, proclaiming the fact that we were wanted criminals and he was going to eliminate us. He said we’d spend the rest of our lives in jail. I figured I could easy peasy take him on, seeing as I had quite the large head from winning so many fights against non magic users at my school. This blonde, sharp-eyed punk destroyed me with a single swift lightning strike, causing poor little cowardly Freed to begin begging for forgiveness. He spilled all the embarrassing details of how we had no families, we lost access to the money that he had inherited and how he was bullied all his life.

 

It was all rather pitiful, yet for some reason, the lightning punk who completely shut me down was somehow affected by it. He looked down at little Freed, cowering on the ground and he said, ‘You both have the potential to be great - not as great as me, but still great. If you come with me, I’ll pay off your debt to society and you two can repay me by becoming hard working members of a wizarding guild. You’ll have a new family, so you can stop your pathetic blubbering and stand on your own two feet. We won’t have any weaklings in it once it’s my turn to master it, so you better man up.’ And with that, he helped my roomie up and forever swiped his precious little heart. We followed him back to the guild, where we both subsequently began to completely and utterly fawn over his power. We were like little fanboys, it was kind of disgusting. We shadowed him, worshipping him as a Thunder God, who eliminated the hell from our lives. 

 

“Pretty soon, we met this beautifully charming, yet completely devious girl, who was also rescued by our Thunder God. She quickly became one of our best friends, although she could really be a snarky bitch at times. She was about a year younger than I was, meaning that by the time we found her, living with a family which treated her worse than they would treat a stray animal, she wasn’t quite a legal adult yet. Funny story, after Laxus and you swooped in to teach the family a lesson, he insisted that we take her to a government building, so that she could legally be free of the binding authority her family technically had over her. Long story short, she opted to stay with us, and Laxus signed as her legal guardian. 

 

She always made fun of us and called us careless, stupid boys, but we knew it was just because she was putting on her own special form of armor to protect herself from the pain she had experienced in her past life… She was the first woman I ever met who didn’t immediately scoff at me and call me a psychopath, which unfortunately made me get a bit… overly attached, to say the least… 

 

“We all basically worshipped Laxus together, but we each did it in our own little ways. I held an immense amount of respect for him for shutting down our egos and bringing us to a place where we could learn magic safely and be of use to society. My poor little roommate had fallen head over heels in love with him, saying that without Laxus’s help, he wouldn’t have had a life to live anymore. Evergreen would throw snide comments on our tendency to refer to him as a god, but when she let her guard down, she would do it too. She also claimed he was the reason he had a life, but she meant it much more literally than my poor little Freed. She was convinced that if he hadn’t stepped in, she would have either resorted to suicide or have been ultimately killed from the abuse she was suffering from.

 

“None of us were quite good at magic, except Laxus of course. In fact, we practically all sucked balls at it, but we practiced. We had fun most days, but some others were… difficult to get through…”  He trailed off, most likely letting his mind wander to the day that I knew he was referencing. 

 

“Bicks--” I tried to tell him that it was okay. It wasn’t his fault. She never blamed him, and all of us knew it wasn’t his fault, but before I could even finish saying his name, he waved me off with his hand and then slid his hands under his mask, in order to rest them directly on his face. I reached over and simply patted his back. He had slumped back in his seat, versus how excited he was to begin his story earlier, which made it all the more harrowing just how deep his inner afflictions over that event were. Thinking over the story he had told, it made me realize just how much we had all changed over the time we met each other. 

 

It had been only about five or six years (Not counting the actual time which had passed while we were frozen), yet it seemed so much further away. I had changed so much, learned great amounts, and gone through extreme quantities of pain. We had many fights in Fairy Tail, one of which lead to Laxus’s exile. The Thunder Legion longed to leave with him, to live alongside him in his exile, but he told us that we had to stay in the light that he had ever so willingly stepped out of. He told me that he needed to sort out his troubles independently, and only once he had gained respect for himself once more would be come back to see us at Fairy Tail. We all ended up falling into our own sort of depressions after  he left. When he finally came back after the failed S-Class trial, it was as if a miracle were dropped upon us. Seven years passed, yet we all eventually fell back into the rhythm of our everyday lives, and Laxus ended up moving back into town. The Thunder Legion had never once lost their drive to protect Laxus, even when he was not present. 

 

“Freed…” Bickslow mumbled my name, making me regret not attending to him much more effectively, seeing as I had been lost in my thoughts and merely rubbing his back. “She was never really the same after… She said she was fine but she just always got tired sooner, she had to take breaks more… She’s stronger now, but if not for me she would have surpassed both of us a long time ago…”

 

“It is not your fault,” I said gently, “She doesn’t blame you.” I wished, for a single moment, that I didn’t have such a glaringly obvious chance with the man I loved, seeing as he had little chance left with the woman he was ‘overly attached to,’ as he said. He deserved the happiness I was feeling much more than I did.

 

“She’s been getting further away from us, Freed. She’s been on a mission with Elfman for over a week now, and she’s not getting back until late tonight.. She didn’t even tell me she was leaving, I had to hear it from Lisanna. I keep teasing Ever about her and Elfman, because it’s just my stupid, fucked up way with dealing with shit, but it kills me every time she gets so flustered, because she knows it’s true. It’s my fault that she’s not already the strongest female wizard in Fairy Tail… She probably just wants to be away from any reminders of that fact, especially me.” I could hear his voice shaking gently, but due to the fact that he had his mask on, and his hands were placed under it, I couldn’t tell if he was crying or not.

 

“Bickslow, you know that isn’t true. She cares about all of us, and she’s never blamed you for it. None of us have.” I wished that there were some way I could better comfort him. Why hadn’t I have thought of answers for a situation like this sometime in the past? It would have been a valuable conversation to brainstorm, yet I failed to do as such.

 

“She told me once, Freed… She told me that the reason she picked up Stone Eyes as her secondary magic was because when she was incapacitated from her fall and she couldn’t move, she knew it was the worst way to make her enemies feel. She told me that what I did to her,” Bickslow’s voice began to rapidly raise in volume, “was THE WORST THING SHE COULD EVER FEEL, FREED!” With that, Bickslow got up, scooped one of his babies into his arms, the others flying close to him, whispering words of reassurance, and walked over to the yard, plopping down under a tree and pulling his knees to his chest as he simply let his pain out.

 

Watching Bickslow’s pain made me realize - why was I upset over something as frivolous as the fact that Laxus was confused about the fact that he  _ might _ love me? He might love me, for goodness sakes! I didn’t have any right to the pain I was feeling, seeing as my life was nearly person. Instead of the pain that Bickslow was feeling, and usually bottling up, I had a child, a possibly permanent unwanted sex-change, and a ‘straight’ man who thought he might love me. So, I got up, walked over to Bickslow, and sat down next to him, simply hugging him and resting my head on his shoulder as he cried and his babies whispered soft words of love to him. After all, it’s what friends are for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Make sure to comment if you liked it, I really look forward to reading the comments! Also, poor Bickslow ;( But he'll end up happy by the end, I promise. Other also, I've been typing all of this in one Google Doc, and that's about to change because I reached 100 pages... Not the best size for a Doc...


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